"In this combat no man can imagine, unless he has seen and heard as I
did, what yelling and hideous roaring Apollyon made all the time of
the fight: he _spake like a dragon_; and, on the other side, what
sighs and groans burst from Christian's heart. I never saw him all
the while give so much as one pleasant look, till he perceived that
he had wounded Apollyon with his two-edged sword; then indeed he did
smile and look upward! but it was the dreadfullest sight that ever I
saw."
I glanced up at my mother, half resolved. She was leaning forward a
little and gazing into the fire, that lit up her pale face and
wonderful eyes with a sympathetic softness. I can remember now how
sweet she looked and how weary--that tender figure outlined in warm
glow against the stern, dark room. And all the time her heart was
slowly breaking with yearning for him that came not. I did not know
it then; but when does childhood know or understand the suffering of
later life? I looked down upon the page once more, turned back a
leaf or two, and read:
"Then did Christian begin to be afraid, and to cast in his mind
whether to go back or stand his ground. But he considered again that
he had no armour for his back, and therefore thought that to turn his
back to him might give him greater advantage, with ease to pierce him
with his darts; therefore he resolved to venture and stand his
ground."
"I come on them in bed sometimes, and sometimes from behind."
The words of my Apollyon came across my mind. Should I speak and
seek counsel?--What was that?
It was a tear that fell upon my hand as it lay across my mother's
lap. Since the day when father left us I had never seen her weep.
Was it for my deceit? I looked up again and saw that her eyes were
brimming with sorrow. My fears and doubts were forgotten. I would
speak and tell her all my tale.
"Mother."
Somewhat ashamed at being discovered, she dried her eyes and tried to
smile--a poor pitiful smile, with the veriest ghost of joy in it.
"Yes, Jasper."
"Is Apollyon still alive?"
"He stands for the powers of evil, Jasper, and they are always
alive."
"But, I mean, does he walk about the world like a man? Is he
_really_ alive?"
"Why, no, Jasper. What nonsense has got into your head now?"
"Because, mother, I met him to-day. That is, he said he was
Apollyon, and that he would come and carry me off if--"
Half apprehensive at my boldness, I cast an anxious look around as I
spoke. Nothing met my eyes but the familiar furniture and the
dancing shadows on the wall, until their gaze fell upon the window,
and rested there, whilst my heart grew suddenly stiff with terror,
and my tongue clave to my mouth.
As my voice broke off suddenly, mother glanced at me in expectation.
Seeing my fixed stare and dropped jaw, she too looked at the window,
then started to her feet with a shriek.
For there, looking in upon us with a wicked smile, was the white face
of the sailor Rhodojani.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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