Dead-sea fruit, Vol. 2 (of 3)Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
General
Dead-sea fruit, Vol. 2 (of 3)
Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
English fiction -- 19th century
He had taken existence lightly, and had taught himself to believe
that the ills of life which press most heavily on other men had left
him unscathed; but there were times in which the tide that carried
him along so pleasantly seemed all at once to come to a dead stop.
The rapid river was transformed into a dreary patch of stagnant
water, black with foul weeds, and poisonous with fatal miasmas; and
Mr. Jerningham was compelled to acknowledge that no man, of his own
election, can resign his share in the sorrows of humanity.
He told himself very often that he had done with emotion, and that
life henceforth must be for him an affair of sensation only; his peace
of mind depended on the perfect adjustment of his _ménage_ when
he was at home, and on the tact of his courier when he travelled.
But there were moments in which the subtle voice of his conscience
whispered that this was only one more among the many delusions of
his life. Thus, when circumstances transpired to prove that his
young wife’s heart had been given to another, even while her honour
was yet unsullied, he had arranged an immediate separation, with
the nonchalance of a man who settles the most trivial affair in the
business of life, fancying that he should escape thereby all those slow
agonies and bitter throes that are wont to rack the breasts of men who
find themselves compelled to part from their wives. But in this, as in
all other transactions of his existence, he had been the dupe of his
own selfish philosophy. The sting of his wife’s ingratitude was none
the less keen because he thrust her from him with a careless hand.
The sense of his own desolation was none the less intense because he
had not suffered himself to love the woman to whom he had given his
name. Even considered from a selfish man’s point of view, his Horatian
philosophy of indifference had been a failure. The fact that it had
been so, and that he might have lived a better life for himself in
living a little for other people, was just beginning to dawn upon him.
One pure pleasure he was to taste on this day--the pleasure that
springs from real friendship. That one unselfish impulse which had
prompted him to provide a pleasant home for an old friend, won him an
ample return. Theodore de Bergerac’s welcome touched him to the heart.
It was so warm, so real, so different from the polished flatteries
he had been of late accustomed to receive, with a conventional smile
upon his lips and the bitterness of unspeakable scorn in his heart. To
this man, so courted, so flattered, it was a new thing to know himself
honestly loved.
De Bergerac was delighted by his friend’s return.
“I thought we were never to see you again, Jerningham,” he said, after
the first welcomes had been spoken, the first inquiries made; “and this
little girl here, has been so anxious to behold her benefactor. I think
she is more grateful to you for her big black dog than for the home
that has sheltered her since her birth.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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