Dead-sea fruit, Vol. 3 (of 3)Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
General
Dead-sea fruit, Vol. 3 (of 3)
Braddon, M. E. (Mary Elizabeth)
English fiction -- 19th century
Between Mr. Desmond and Mrs. Jerningham there was no tie of
kindred--_that_ fact had long ago transpired; nor could Mr.
Desmond be affianced to a lady whose husband’s existence was a
notorious fact. And yet Mr. Desmond was obviously the especial
property, the moral goods and chattels, of Mrs. Jerningham. Miss
Alford knew something of Plato, but very little of that figment of
the modern brain, entitled Platonic attachment. Friendship between
these two persons would in no manner have surprised her; but, innocent
as she was, her instinct told her that in this association there was
something more than common friendship. If she had been blind to every
subtle shade of tone and manner that prevailed between these two,
she would have perceived the one fact, that Mr. Desmond’s manner to
herself in Emily’s presence was not what it had been in the Islington
lodging-house, where he had first come to her relief. The tender,
half-fatherly familiarity was exchanged for a ceremonious courtesy that
chilled her to the heart. Beyond a few kind but measured sentences of
inquiry or solicitude when he first saw her, he scarcely addressed
her at all during his visits of many hours. She sat far away from the
chess-table or the reading-desk by which Emily’s low easy-chair was
placed, and the subdued murmur of the two voices only came to her at
intervals from the spot where Mrs. Jerningham and her guest conversed.
At dinner Mr. Desmond’s talk was of that western London, which was
stranger to her than Egypt or Babylon; the music which Mrs. Jerningham
played after dinner was from modern operas, whose every note was
familiar to those two, but of which she knew no more than the names.
The books, the people, the places they talked of were all alike
strange to her. She was with them, but not of them. The sense of her
strangeness and loneliness weighed upon her like a physical oppression.
Every day of Mr. Desmond’s absence she found herself thinking of--nay,
even hoping for--his coming; and when he came she was miserable, and
felt her solitary, hopeless position more keenly than in his absence.
“Oh, why did I ever see him?” she asked herself. “I should have
struggled on, somehow, at such places as Market Deeping, and might in
the end have succeeded in my profession. And now I have given up all
my hopes to please him--and he does not care! What can it matter to him
whether I am an actress or a governess? I am nothing to _him_.”
He does not care! This was the note, the dominant of all Miss Alford’s
sad reveries. She toiled on patiently, always anxious to please her
patroness; but it seemed to her very hard that in gaining this new
friend, she should have so utterly lost that old sweet friendship which
had begun in the days when she wore holland pinafores, and fished for
bream and barbel with a wretched worm impaled upon a crooked pin.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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