She went to the washstand, her bare feet making no sound on the worn
rug. She turned on the faucets, but no water came. No water, and she had
a terrible thirst. She went to the door and had thrown the bolt before
she remembered again that she was naked. She turned back and saw the
half-empty Pepsi-Cola bottle on the floor beside the bed table. Someone
else had left it there--how many nights ago?--but she drank it anyhow,
and even though it was flat and warm it soothed her throat.
She bent over to pick up garments from the floor and dizziness came,
forcing her to the edge of the bed. After a while it passed and she got
her legs into one of the garments and pulled it on.
Taking cosmetics from her bag, she went again to the washstand and tried
the taps. Still no water. She combed her hair, jerking the comb through
the mats and gnarls with a satisfying viciousness. When the hair fell
into its natural, blond curls, she applied powder and lip-stick. She
went back to the bed, picked up her brassiere and began putting it on as
she walked to the cracked, full-length mirror in the closet door. With
the brassiere in place, she stood looking at her slim image. She assayed
herself with complete impersonality.
She shouldn't look as good as she did--not after the beating she'd
taken. Not after the long nights and the days and the years, even though
the years did not add up to very many.
I could be someone's wife, she thought, with wry humor. I could be
sending kids to school and going out to argue with the grocer about the
tomatoes being too soft. I don't look bad at all.
She raised her eyes until they were staring into their own images in the
glass and she spoke aloud in a low, wondering voice. She said, "Who the
hell am I, anyway? Who am I? A body named Linda--that's who I am.
No--that's _what_ I am. A body's not a _who_--it's a _what_. One hundred
and fourteen pounds of well-built blond body called Linda--model
1931--no fender dents--nice paint job. Come in and drive me away. Price
tag--"
She bit into the lower lip she'd just finished reddening and turned
quickly to walk to the bed and wriggle into her dress--a gray and green
cotton--the only one she had. She picked up her bag and went to the
door. There she stopped to turn and thumb her nose at the three sleeping
pills in the bottle before she went out and closed the door after
herself.
The desk clerk was away from the cubbyhole from which he presided over
the lobby, and there were no loungers to undress her as she walked
toward the door.
Nor was there anyone out in the street. The girl looked north and south.
No cars in sight either. No buses waddling up to the curb to spew out
passengers.
The girl went five doors north and tried to enter a place called Tim's
Hamburger House. As the lock held and the door refused to open, she saw
that there were no lights on inside--no one behind the counter. The
place was closed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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