PURDIE. To find a mysterious wood. (With the word 'wood' the ladies are blown upright. Their eyes turn to LOB, who, however, has never looked more innocent). JOANNE. Are you being funny, Mr. Purdie? You know quite well that there are not any trees for miles around. You have said yourself that it is the one blot on the landscape. COADE (almost as great a humorist as PURDIE). Ah, on ordinary occasions! But allow us to point out to you, Miss Joanna, that this is Midsummer Eve. (LOB again comes sharply under female observation.) PURDIE. Tell them what you told us, Lob. LOB (with a pout for the credulous). It is all nonsense, of course; just foolish talk of the villagers. They say that on Midsummer Eve there is a strange wood in this part of the country. ALICE (lowering). Where? PURDIE. Ah, that is one of its most charming features. It is never twice in the same place apparently. It has been seen on different parts of the Downs and on More Common; once it was close to Radley village and another time about a mile from the sea. Oh, a sporting wood! LADY CAROLINE. And Lob is anxious that we should all go and look for it? COADE. Not he; Lob is the only sceptic in the house. Says it is all rubbish, and that we shall be sillies if we go. But we believe, eh, Purdie? PURDIE (waggishly). Rather! LOB (the artful). Just wasting the evening. Let us have a round game at cards here instead. PURDIE (grandly), No, sir, I am going to find that wood. JOANNA. What is the good of it when it is found? PURDIE. We shall wander in it deliciously, listening to a new sort of bird called the Philomel. (LOB is behaving in the most exemplary manner; making sweet little clucking sounds.) JOANNA (doubtfully). Shall we keep together, Mr. Purdie? PURDIE. No, we must hunt in pairs. JOANNA. (converted). I think it would be rather fun. Come on, Coady, I'll lace your boots for you. I am sure your poor foot will carry you nicely. ALICE. Miss Trout, wait a moment. Lob, has this wonderful wood any special properties? LOB. Pooh! There's no wood. LADY CAROLINE. You've never seen it? LOB. Not I. I don't believe in it. ALICE. Have any of the villagers ever been in it? LOB (dreamily). So it's said; so it's said. ALICE. What did they say were their experiences? LOB. That isn't known. They never came back. JOANNA (promptly resuming her seat). Never came back! LOB. Absurd, of course. You see in the morning the wood was gone; and so they were gone, too. (He clucks again.) JOANNA. I don't think I like this wood. MRS. COADE. It certainly is Midsummer Eve. COADE (remembering that women are not yet civilised). Of course if you ladies are against it we will drop the idea. It was only a bit of fun. ALICE (with a malicious eye on LOB). Yes, better give it up--to please Lob. PURDIE. Oh, all right, Lob. What about that round game of cards? (The proposal meets with approval.)