There were three cardinal sins on the planet of XYZ268PDQ. Two of them
were unmentionable and the third was forgetting to massage all of the
eight eyeballs of Hiah-Leugh at one and the same time. If it were not
for the massage the giants of the planet would all live in peace. But
it took a man with six arms to do the job. In fact it was to the
regret of Hiah-Leugh that the giants did not have eight arms.
Now one of the eyelids was closing. In a second or two it would be
closed completely and once a single of the eight eyes closed the
others automatically followed suit. There was but a single thing to do
in this case. The giant did it.
He poked his finger into the drooping lid.
Hiah-Leugh awoke with a suddenness of shock and startled surprise. He
howled in pain then leaped from the chair, scuttling about the
room-of-massage on his twelve pairs of crablike legs at a great pace.
"Heavens to Betsy!" Hiah-Leugh screamed. "You _are_ the clumsiest
giant.... But what can a B. E. M. expect? Oh, well! You're excused. Go
and see if there are any children to frighten...."
There were four different expressions on the four heads. One showed
pleasure, and another, surprise and a third, gloom and the fourth was
blank completely. This head was the dumb one. It had but one
expression, blankness. The four heads bent and the great body bowed
low, and slowly, with great effort and with many bumpings into various
pieces of furniture, the giant bowed himself out of the massage
parlor.
Hiah-Leugh was left alone.
But not for long. Suddenly a whole section of the wall slid back
showing another room. This was the famous Gloating Chamber of
Hiah-Leugh. Here were brought all the victims the tribe captured. And
here it was that their chief was supposed to spend his time in
_Gloating_ over the tortures his torturers were supposed to spend
their time in devising. But business had been very bad lately. Not
only was there not a single victim in the Gloating Chamber, there was
not a single torturer available. Hiah-Leugh suddenly remembered.
Something about a picnic.... Then why had the wall slid back?
"_Hiah-Leugh! Hiah-Leugh!_" it was the clarion call of his ninth
concubine, the lovely and charming Sally Patica. But what in the name
of all that was unmentionable was she doing in the Gloating Chamber?
Of course she too could be _Gloating_!
He moved slowly toward the room, hoping against hope she was not in a
bad mood. The last time she had called in that tone of voice he had
suffered greatly. She had made him go without an eyeball massage for a
whole week....
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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