that manhood and humanity existed in spite of the War and not because
of it. They had saved something from a gigantic wreck, and what they
had saved was immensely important—manhood and comradeship, their
essential integrity as men, their essential brotherhood as men.
But what were they really against, who were their real enemies? He saw
the answer with a flood of bitterness and clarity. Their enemies—the
enemies of German and English alike—were the fools who had sent them
to kill each other instead of help each other. Their enemies were
the sneaks and the unscrupulous; the false ideals, the unintelligent
ideas imposed on them, the humbug, the hypocrisy, the stupidity. If
those men were typical, then there was nothing essentially wrong with
common humanity, at least so far as the men were concerned. It was
the leadership that was wrong—not the war leadership, but the peace
leadership. The nations were governed by bunk and sacrificed to false
ideals and stupid ideas. It was assumed that they had to be governed by
bunk—but if they were never given anything else, how could you tell?
De-bunk the World. Hopeless, hopeless....
He sighed deeply, and turned in his blanket wrapping. One man was
snoring. Another moaned in his sleep. Like corpses they lay there,
human rejects chucked into a bell tent on the hill above Boulogne. The
pack made a hard pillow. Maybe he was all wrong, maybe it was “right”
for men to be begotten only to murder each other in huge senseless
combats. He wondered if he were not getting a little insane through
this persistent brooding over the murders, by striving so desperately
and earnestly to find out why it had happened, by agonizing over it
all, by trying to think how it could be prevented from occurring again.
After all, did it matter so much? Yes, did it matter? What were a few
million human animals more or less? Why agonize about it? The most he
could do was die. Well, die then. But O God, O God, is that all? To be
born against your will, to feel that life might in its brief passing
be so lovely and so divine, and yet to have nothing but opposition
and betrayal and hatred and death forced upon you! To be born for
the slaughter like a calf or a pig! To be violently cast back into
nothing—for what? My God, for what? Is there nothing but despair and
death? Is life vain, beauty vain, love vain, hope vain, happiness vain?
“The war to end wars!” Is any one so asinine as to believe that? A war
to breed wars, rather....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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