England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction
He spent the next half-hour in issuing invitations, and at half-past
three every chair was filled by fellow-strikers. Three cans of beer,
clay pipes, and a paper of shag stood on the table. Mr. Benjamin Todd,
an obese, fresh-coloured gentleman of middle age, took the easy-chair.
Glasses and teacups were filled.
“Gentlemen,” said Mr. Todd, lighting his pipe, “afore we get on to the
business of this meeting I want to remind you that there is another
meeting, of ladies, at four o’clock; so we’ve got to hurry up. O’
course, if it should happen that we ain’t finished——”
“Go on, Bennie!” said a delighted admirer.
“I see a female ’ead peeping in at the winder already,” said a voice.
“Let ’em peep,” said Mr. Todd, benignly. “Then p’r’aps they’ll be able
to see how to run a meeting.”
“There’s two more ’eads,” said the other. “Oh, Lord, I know I sha’n’t
be able to keep a straight face!”
“H’sh!” commanded Mr. Todd, sternly, as the street-door was heard to
open. “Be’ave yourself. As I was saying, the thing we’ve got to
consider about this strike——”
The door opened, and six ladies, headed by Mrs. Porter, entered the
room in single file and ranged themselves silently along the wall.
“Strike,” proceeded Mr. Todd, who found himself gazing uneasily into
the eyes of Mrs. Gorman——“strike—er—strike——”
“He said that before,” said a stout lady, in a loud whisper; “I’m sure
he did.”
“Is,” continued Mr. Todd, “that we have got to keep this—this—er—”
“Strike,” prompted the same voice.
Mr. Todd paused, and, wiping his mouth with a red pocket-handkerchief,
sat staring straight before him.
“I move,” said Mrs. Evans, her sharp features twitching with
excitement, “that Mrs. Gorman takes the chair.”
“’Ow can I take it when he’s sitting in it?” demanded that lady.
“She’s a lady that knows what she wants and how to get it,” pursued
Mrs. Evans, unheeding. “She understands men—”
“I’ve buried two ’usbands,” murmured Mrs. Gorman, nodding.
“And how to manage them,” continued Mrs. Evans. “I move that Mrs.
Gorman takes the chair. Those in favour—”
Mr. Todd, leaning back in his chair and gripping the arms, gazed
defiantly at a row of palms.
“Carried unanimously!” snapped Mrs. Evans.
Mrs. Gorman, tall and bony, advanced and stood over Mr. Todd. Strong
men held their breath.
“It’s my chair,” she said, gruffly. “I’ve been moved into it.”
“Possession,” said Mr. Todd, in as firm a voice as he could manage, “is
nine points of the law. I’m here and—”
Mrs. Gorman turned, and, without the slightest warning, sat down
suddenly and heavily in his lap. A hum of admiration greeted the
achievement.
“Get up!” shouted the horrified Mr. Todd. “Get up!”
Mrs. Gorman settled herself more firmly.
“Let me get up,” said Mr. Todd, panting.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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