Dere Mable: Love Letters of a RookieStreeter, Edward
General
Dere Mable: Love Letters of a Rookie
Streeter, Edward
World War, 1914-1918 -- Humor, caricatures, etc.
An these baynuts, Mable. They aint safe. When you get a lot of fellos in
a trench with there baynuts stickin every which way some ones goin to
get hurt sure.
I got those cigars your father sent me. Thank him an tell him if he ever
gets takin like that again not to send such a large box but-well you
explain it to him Mable. You can do that sort of thing much better than
I can. Outspoken. Thats me all over, Mable.
Why is it that no matter how fussy a fello was when he wore a vest as
soon as he begins to call a coat a blouze no one thinks he knows whats
what. If you got any old magazenes what was old before the war started
send em to the soldiers. They wont know the difference. Some wimen sent
our regiment the Baptist Review for three years back. That aint right,
Mable. They give you candy that comes by the bale. Then they come round
an watch you eat it. I bet if you walked into there place an watched
them eat theyd raise an awful holler. They make speeches to you that
youd get your money back without askin up north. They give you free
movies thats so old they look as if they was taken in the rain.
It seems like feedin the hippo at the zoo, Mable. It dont matter so much
as long as theres lots of it.
Im goin into town tonite with a bunch to eat a swell dinner on a china
plate. All but Angus MacKenzie. He eats all his dinners on me. Im awful
sick of eatin out of a tin fryin pan. When you put food in it it folds
up like a jacknife goin the wrong way. It takes months to make a good
mess kit eater.
We get our mess from some fellos what stands behind a counter. One of
them divides the coffee. He does it by puttin half in your cup an half
on your thumb. The other fellos has big spoons. I guess they are old
Lacross players. A big wad of food hits your plate splash an knocks it
squee gee. The other fello hits the other plate an knocks it the other
way. When you get it all its runnin out of one dish up your sleeve an
out of the other back into the food pans.
Army food always runs. Cooks love loose grub. There awful stupid. If
theres anything solid you get it in the pan with the rim on it. Then
they pour the soup on your cover.
When you sit down half what you got left spills out on the table. It
isnt so bad now cause everything freezes about as soon as it hits.
[Illustration: "ARMY FOOD ALWAYS RUNS"]
You ought to see us eat breakfast, Mable. We got so many overcoats and
things on that a fello dont get no elbow action. Some fellos eats with
there wool gloves. That aint a good scheme though. It makes things taste
like eatin peaches with there skins on.
The fello that invented our eatin tables must have been a supply Sargent
once. All the seats is nailed to the table. When you get a spoonful of
loose food up some fello puts his foot in your lap and leaves a couple
of pounds of mud there. I just brush it off tho on the next fello. Never
complain. Thats me all over.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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