Joyce laughed ironically.
“You would n’t say that if you knew the posts I have sought after, the
advertisements I have answered. It will be a fortune to me.”
“And it may lead--how far, you don’t know. Why in two or three years you
may be playing a leading part in a West End light opera. Or you may do
dramatic business and come to the top. One never can tell. Won’t it be
nice when you can command your £40 or £50 a week?”
Yvonne was very happy. She had conceived the plan all by herself and had
gone off impulsively to Brum to put it into execution. Joyce’s future
was assured. His cleverness, of which she used to be a little afraid in
earlier years, would soon lift him from the ranks. She was excited over
this forecast of his success. But Joyce could not look so far ahead. All
he could feel was a wondrous relief to find a door still open for
him, gratitude to the woman who had led him to it. His spirit was too
shrouded to catch a gleam of her enthusiasm. She strove to brighten him.
“You will find Brum all right. He has always been good to me, since
I stepped into a gap for him once at a charity matinée---a medley
entertainment, you know. When he has a theatre in London he always sends
me a box, if there’s one vacant. You see, I knew he was taking out ‘The
Diamond Door,’ into the provinces, and he pays pretty high salaries all
round--so I did n’t see why you should n’t have a chance in the chorus.
Oh, you ’ll like the stage so much. I wish I were on, instead of singing
at concerts. I have always hankered after it.”
“Why don’t you make the change?” asked Joyce.
“I’m not good enough. I am too insignificant. But I don’t really mind. I
love singing for singing’s sake, no matter where it is. I only have one
great anxiety in life--that I should lose my voice. Then I should put
my head under my wing and die, like the _cigale_. That is to say, if the
_cigale_ has wings--has she?”
“Yes, pretty brown wings--as yours must be. I believe you have them
somewhere hidden from us.”
“You mustn’t make pretty speeches,” said Yvonne, pleased.
“It expresses clumsily what I feel,” said Joyce, with a sudden rush of
feeling. “I have been asking myself what are the common grounds on
which we can meet--you, a pure, bright, beautiful soul--and I, a mean,
degraded man, who knows it to be almost an outrage upon you to cross
your threshold. I feel we are not of the same human clay. I wonder how
it is that the sight of me does n’t frighten you. Thank God you don’t
see me as I see myself.”
“Hush!” said Yvonne, gently.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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