Cameron grew acutely conscious of the pang in his own breast, of the
fire in his heart, the strife and torment of his passion-driven soul.
He had come into the desert to remember a woman. She appeared to him
then as she had looked when first she entered his life--a golden-haired
girl, blue-eyed, white-skinned, red-lipped, tall and slender and
beautiful. He had never forgotten, and an old, sickening remorse
knocked at his heart. He rose and climbed out of the canyon and to the
top of a mesa, where he paced to and fro and looked down into the weird
and mystic shadows, like the darkness of his passion, and farther on
down the moon track and the glittering stretches that vanished in the
cold, blue horizon. The moon soared radiant and calm, the white stars
shone serene. The vault of heaven seemed illimitable and divine. The
desert surrounded him, silver-streaked and black-mantled, a chaos of
rock and sand, silent, austere, ancient, always waiting. It spoke to
Cameron. It was a naked corpse, but it had a soul. In that wild
solitude the white stars looked down upon him pitilessly and pityingly.
They had shone upon a desert that might once have been alive and was
now dead, and might again throb with life, only to die. It was a
terrible ordeal for him to stand alone and realize that he was only a
man facing eternity. But that was what gave him strength to endure.
Somehow he was a part of it all, some atom in that vastness, somehow
necessary to an inscrutable purpose, something indestructible in that
desolate world of ruin and death and decay, something perishable and
changeable and growing under all the fixity of heaven. In that
endless, silent hall of desert there was a spirit; and Cameron felt
hovering near him what he imagined to be phantoms of peace.
He returned to camp and sought his comrade.
"I reckon we're two of a kind," he said. "It was a woman who drove me
into the desert. But I come to remember. The desert's the only place
I can do that."
"Was she your wife?" asked the elder man.
"No."
A long silence ensued. A cool wind blew up the canyon, sifting the
sand through the dry sage, driving away the last of the lingering heat.
The campfire wore down to a ruddy ashen heap.
"I had a daughter," said Cameron's comrade. "She lost her mother at
birth. And I--I didn't know how to bring up a girl. She was pretty
and gay. It was the--the old story."
His words were peculiarly significant to Cameron. They distressed him.
He had been wrapped up in his remorse. If ever in the past he had
thought of any one connected with the girl he had wronged he had long
forgotten. But the consequences of such wrong were far-reaching. They
struck at the roots of a home. Here in the desert he was confronted by
the spectacle of a splendid man, a father, wasting his life because he
could not forget--because there was nothing left to live for. Cameron
understood better now why his comrade was drawn by the desert.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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