"I hope to die if I ever in my life so hated to write anything
as I did those trifles, nay, those Gnathonisms, which I have
written for my Lady, for the Provost and for the Abbot. I know
you will say this is my ill-temper; but you won't say that,
Battus, if you think of my condition or if you consider how
hard it is to force the mind to the writing of a great work,
and how much harder yet, when it is all in a glow, to have it
called off to other and trifling things. Because you haven't
tried this yourself you fancy that my mind is always in perfect
order, always on the alert, as yours is when you are enjoying
the greatest possible leisure. Don't you understand that there
is no worse burden than a mind wearied by writing, and don't
you think I am doing enough here to satisfy those whose favours
I enjoy? You are asking me for bales of books, but you don't
help me to get the leisure which the writing of books demands.
It isn't enough for you if I shall some day immortalise our
friendship and the favour of my Lady by my books, but I must
be writing you six hundred letters every day. It is now a year
since you promised me money and meanwhile you send me nothing
but hopes: 'I don't despair, I will push your case with all
zeal.'--This sort of thing has been crammed into my ears too
long; it makes me sick. And finally you lament the hard fortune
of your mistress. You seem to me to be ailing with another's
sickness. She neglects her fortune; you feel the pain! She fools
and trifles with her N. and you snarl out: 'She hasn't anything
to give.' Well! the only thing I see clearly is that if she
gives nothing for these reasons she will never give anything,
for reasons of this sort are never wanting to the great. How
little it would be, with such vast wealth, fairly running to
waste, to send me two hundred francs. She has plenty to keep
those cowled whoremongers, those low-lived wretches,--you know
whom I mean,--but she has nothing to provide leisure for a man
who might write books worthy to live--if I may brag a little
of myself. She gets into many a tight place, but it's her own
fault, if she prefers to keep that pretty fellow rather than
a grave and serious man, as becomes her age and sex. If she
doesn't change her mind I foresee still greater troubles;--and
yet I am not writing in anger against her, for indeed I love
her as I ought, considering what she has done for me. But, come
now, how can it hurt her fortune if I get two hundred francs?
In seven hours she will never know it. The whole business comes
to this: that we get the money out of her, if not in cash, then
from her banker, so that I can draw it here at Paris. You have
been writing letters and letters to her in this affair, asking,
hinting, going round about; but what could be more useless? You
ought to have watched your chance, gone at it carefully and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account