Devonshire Characters and Strange EventsBaring-Gould, S. (Sabine)
History
Devonshire Characters and Strange Events
Baring-Gould, S. (Sabine)
Devon (England) -- Biography; Devon (England) -- History
In 1832, on 7 April, a farmer named Joseph Thomson came into Carlisle
with his wife, to whom he had been married three years before; he sent
the bell-man round the town to announce a sale, and this attracted a
great crowd. At noon the sale took place. Thomson placed his wife on
a chair, with a rope of straw round her neck. He then said--according
to the report in the _Annual Register_--“Gentlemen, I have to offer to
your notice, my wife, Mary Anne Thomson, otherwise Williams, whom I
mean to sell to the highest and fairest bidder. Gentlemen, it is her
wish as well as mine to part for ever. She has been to me only a born
serpent. I took her for my comfort, and the good of my home; but she
became my tormentor, a domestic curse. Gentlemen, I speak the truth
from my heart when I say may God deliver us from troublesome wives and
frolicsome women! Avoid them as you would a mad dog, or a roaring lion,
a loaded pistol, cholera morbus, Mount Etna, or any other pestilential
thing in nature. Now I have shown you the dark side of my wife, and
told you her faults and failings, I will introduce the bright and sunny
side of her, and explain her qualifications and goodness. She can read
novels and milk cows; she can laugh and weep with the same ease that
you could take a glass of ale when thirsty. Indeed, gentlemen, she
reminds me of what the poet says of women in general:--
Heaven gave to women the peculiar grace
To laugh, to weep, to cheat the human race.
She can make butter and scold the maid; she can sing Moore’s melodies,
and plait her frills and caps; she cannot make rum, gin, or whisky,
but she is a good judge of the quality from long experience in tasting
them. I therefore offer her with all her perfections and imperfections
for the sum of fifty shillings.”
That this address was spoken by Thomson is most improbable--it is
doubtless put into his mouth by the editor of the _Annual Register_; it
was not to his interest to depreciate the article he desired to sell.
After about an hour, the woman was knocked down to one Henry Mears,
for twenty shillings and a Newfoundland dog. They then parted company
in perfect good humour, each satisfied with his bargain; Mears and the
woman went one way, and Thomson and the dog another.
In 1835 a man led his wife by a halter, in precisely the same way, into
the market at Birmingham, and sold her for fifteen pounds. She at once
went home with the purchaser. She survived both buyer and seller, and
then married again. Some property came to her in the course of years
from her first husband; for notwithstanding claims put forth by his
relatives she was able to maintain in a court of law that the sale did
not and could not vitiate her rights as his widow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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