"The shameful secret was not mine to divulge. 'Trusted you?' I trusted
you to trust the honor of the man you had promised to make your husband.
When on my knees I swore to you that my innocence, temporarily
discredited, must inevitably be established some day by those for whose
sins I was branded, do you recollect quite all you gave me in return?
That thirteenth of July you hurled my ring at my feet, denounced me as a
despicable hypocrite--as a leper unfit to defile your presence; you
denied me even the right of acquaintanceship, vehemently forbade the
privilege of recognizing you by word or sign. Even then I partly forgave
your frantic, passionately bitter accusation, because I realized how
revolting to your pure, womanly instincts was the grievous slander. You
cast me out of your life as a disgraced villain who had forfeited all
right to associate with gentlemen. No alternative was mine; I submitted
to your cruel edict. Very soon the pall that seemed to blot out all hope
for me, was suddenly and strangely lifted by that tragic deathbed
revelation which cleared me of all blame, and left no shadow to sully my
name. I stepped back to the plane of honorable manhood. Since the day of
that complete vindication, twelve long years have passed. I waited, not
patiently, but I waited watching for some message, some signal from the
woman who had promised to become my wife, and who owed me a renewal of
confidence. Knowing me innocent you have elected to keep me under ban."
The concentrated bitterness of his deliberately uttered indictment, and
the merciless searchlight in his eyes had no power to shiver the pallid
rigidity of the face proudly uplifted.
"Having forfeited all claim to your kind or friendly remembrance, how
could you, who know my nature, expect me to invite intolerable
humiliation from your rejection of any overture I offered that involved
confession of wrong? I had no right to assume that a message from me
would be acceptable, and as far as I knew, your life was so serene and
satisfying that any echo thirteen years old would prove only an
intrusive discord. Our alienation was complete and you carefully shunned
any opportunity to end it."
"Had you allowed me the liberty of approach? I obeyed your command, I
followed the line you dictated, I rigidly refrained from word or letter
and I accorded you the silence you demanded. My mother urged me to
venture some overture for reconciliation, and just before her death I
found a letter she had addressed to you in my behalf. Self-respect
forced me to expostulate, and at her bedside I burned that letter. At
least I am entitled to your thanks that in no degree have I attempted to
invade the territory, from which I was so ignominiously ejected."
"In saying good-night, and also an eternal good-bye, I beg your
Excellency's acceptance of my thorough appreciation of, and thanks for
your courteous and consistent compliance with my wishes."
She turned away quickly, but his hand fell upon her shoulder.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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