but this is a schedule, and not of his, a codicil, and not of his, not in the body of his testaments, but interlined and postscribed by others, that the way to the communion of saints should be by such a solitude as excludes all doing of good here. That is a disease of the mind, as the height of an infectious disease of the body is solitude, to be left alone: for this makes an infectious bed equal, nay, worse than a grave, that though in both I be equally alone, in my bed I know it, and feel it, and shall not in my grave: and this too, that in my bed my soul is still in an infectious body, and shall not in my grave be so. V. EXPOSTULATION. O God, my God, thy Son took it not ill at Martha's hands, that when he said unto her, _Thy brother Lazarus shall rise again_,[53] she expostulated it so far with him as to reply, _I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection, at the last day_; for she was miserable by wanting him then. Take it not ill, O my God, from me, that though thou have ordained it for a blessing, and for a dignity to thy people, _that they should dwell alone, and not be reckoned among the nations_[54] (because they should be above them), and that _they should dwell in safety alone_[55] (free from the infestation of enemies), yet I take thy leave to remember thee, that thou hast said too, _Two are better than one_; and, _Woe be unto him that is alone when he falleth_;[56] and so when he is fallen, and laid in the bed of sickness too. _Righteousness is immortal_;[57] I know thy wisdom hath said so; but no man, though covered with the righteousness of thy Son, is immortal so as not to die; for he who was righteousness itself did die. I know that the Son of Righteousness, thy Son, refused not, nay affected, solitariness, loneness,[58] many, many times; but at all times he was able to command _more than twelve legions of angels_[59] to his service; and when he did not so, he was far from being alone: for, _I am not alone_, says he, _but I, and the Father that sent me_.[60] I cannot fear but that I shall always be with thee and him; but whether this disease may not alien and remove my friends, so that _they stand aloof from my sore, and my kinsmen stand afar off_,[61] I cannot tell. I cannot fear but that thou wilt reckon with me from this minute, in which, by thy grace, I see thee; whether this understanding, and this will, and this memory may not decay, to the discouragement and the ill interpretation of them that see that heavy change in me, I cannot tell. It was for thy blessed, thy powerful Son alone, _to tread the wine-press alone, and none of the people with him_.[62] I am not able to pass this agony alone, not alone without thee; thou art thy spirit, not alone without thine; spiritual and temporal physicians are thine, not alone without mine; those whom the bands of blood or friendship have made mine, are mine; and if thou, or thine, or mine, abandon me, I am alone, and woe unto me if I be alone.