How he had suffered, he reflected, he who needed love so much. Even the
advent of the child had only drawn them together for a time. He
remembered how deeply touched he had been when it was first laid in his
arms, how drawn towards its mother. But his smoking-room fire had been
neglected during the following week, and he could not find any large
envelopes, and the nurse made absurd restrictions about his seeing his
wife at his own hours, and Di herself was feeble and languid, and made
no attempt to enter into his feelings, or show him any sympathy, and--
Colonel Tempest sighed as he made this mournful retrospect of his
married life. He had never cared to be much at home, he reflected. His
home had not been made very pleasant to him; the poor meagre home in a
dingy street, the wrong side of Oxford Street, which was all that a
young man in the Guards, with expensive tastes, who had quarrelled with
his elder brother, could afford. The last evening he had spent in that
house came back to him with a feeling of bitter resentment at the
recollection of his wife's unreasonable distress when a tradesman called
after dinner for payment of a longstanding account which she had
understood was settled. It was not a large bill he remembered
wrathfully, and he had intended to keep his promise of paying it
directly his money came in, but when it came he had needed it, and more,
for his share of the spring fishing he had taken cheap with a friend.
Naturally he would not see the man whose loud voice, asking repeatedly
for him, could be heard in the hall, and who refused to go away. Colonel
Tempest had a dislike to rows with tradespeople. At last his wife,
prostrate, and in feeble health, rose languidly from her sofa, and went
down to meet the recriminations of the unfortunate tradesman, who, after
a long interval, retired, slamming the door. Colonel Tempest heard her
slow step come up the stair again, and then, instead of stopping at the
drawing-room door, it had gone toiling upwards to the room above. He was
incensed by so distinct an evidence of temper. Surely, he said to
himself with exasperation, she knew when she married him that she was
marrying a poor man.
She did not return: and at last he blew out the lamp, and lighting the
candle put ready for him, went upstairs, and opening the door of his
wife's room, peered in. She was sitting in the dark by the black
fireplace with her head in her hands. A great deal of darkness and cold
seemed to have been compressed into that little room. She raised her
head as he came in. Her wide eyes had a look in them of a dumb
unreasoning animal distress which took him aback. There was no pride nor
anger in her face. In his ignorance he supposed she would reproach him.
He had not yet realized that the day of reproaches and appeals, very
bitter while it lasted, was long past, years past. The silence of those
who have loved us is sometimes eloquent as a tombstone of that which has
been buried beneath it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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