"Diana," said the elder woman, with concentrated passion, as she passed
him to leave the room--"Diana, thank God, is dead!"
He had never forgiven Mrs. Courtenay for that speech. He remembered even
now with a shudder of acute self-pity all he had gone through during the
days that followed, and the silent reproach of the face that even in
death wore a look not of rest, but of a weariness stern and patient, and
a courage that has looked to the end and can wait.
And when Mrs. Courtenay had written to offer to take the little Diana
off his hands altogether provided he would lay no claim to her later on,
he had refused with indignation. He would not be parted from his
children. But the child was delicate and wailed perpetually, and he
wanted to get rid of the house, and of all that reminded him of a past
that it was distinctly uncomfortable to recall. He put the little
yellow-haired boy to school, and, when Mrs. Courtenay repeated her
offer, he accepted it; and Di, with her bassinette and the minute
feather-stitched wardrobe that her mother had made for her packed inside
her little tin bath, drove away one day in a four-wheeler straight out
of Colonel Tempest's existence and very soon out of his memory.
His marriage had been the ruin of him, he said to himself, reviewing the
last few years. It had done for him with his brother. He had been a fool
to sacrifice so much for a pretty face, and she had not had a shilling.
He had chucked away all his chances in marrying her. He might have
married anybody; but he had never seen a woman before or since with a
turn of the neck and shoulder to equal hers. Poor Di! She had spoilt his
life, no doubt, but she had had her good points after all.
* * * * *
Poor Di! Perhaps she too had had her dark hours. Perhaps she had given
love to a man capable only of a passing passion. Perhaps she had sold
her woman's birthright for red pottage, and had borne the penalty, not
with an exceeding bitter cry, but in an exceeding bitter silence.
Perhaps she had struggled against the disillusion and desecration of
life, the despair and the self-loathing that go to make up an unhappy
marriage. Perhaps in the deepening shadows of death she had heard her
new-born child cry to her through the darkness, and had yearned over it,
and yet--and yet had been glad to go.
However these things may have been, at any rate, she had a turn of the
neck and shoulder which lived in her husband's memory. Poor Di!
* * * * *
Colonel Tempest shook himself free from a train of reflections which had
led him to a death-bed, and suddenly remembered with a shudder of
repugnance that he was on his way to another at this moment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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