“Oh yes,” continued Dumps, “when she was er playin’ one day on the side
uv the creek with her little sister, she got ter fightin’ an’ pinchin’
an’ scrougin’, an’ the fus thing she knowed, she fell kersplash in the
creek, and got drownded. An’ one time her mammy tol’ ’er not nuber ter
clim’ up on the fender, an’ she neber min’ ’er, but clum right upon the
fender ter git an apple off’n the mantelpiece; an’ the fender turned
over, an’ she fell in the fire an’ burnt all up. An’ another time, jes
er week after that, she was er foolin’ ’long—”
“Dumps, what are you talkin’ ’bout?” again interrupted Diddie. “She
couldn’t be er foolin’ long o’ nothin’ ef she’s dead.”
“But she ain’t dead, Diddie,” persisted Dumps.
“Well, you said the fire burned her up,” retorted Diddie.
“I don’t care ef hit did,” said Dumps; “she nuver died bout hit; an’ ef
you’re goin’ ter keep sayin’ she’s dead, then I sha’n’t tell yer no
mo’.”
“Go on, then,” said Diddie, “an I won’t bother you.”
“Well, one time,” continued Dumps, “when she was er foolin’ ’long o’
cow, what she had no business, the cow run his horns right thorough her
neck, an’ throwed her way-ay-ay up yon’er; an’ she nuver come down no
mo’, an’ that’s all.”
“But, Dumps, what become of her?” asked Diddie.
“I dunno what become uv her,” said Dumps. “She went ter hebn, I
reckon.”
“But she couldn’t go ter hebn ef she’s so bad,” said Diddie; “the angel
wouldn’t let her come in,”
“The cow throwed her in,” said Dumps, “an’ the angel wan’t er lookin’,
an’ he nuver knowed nothin’ ’bout it.”
“That’s er mighty funny story,” said Diddie; “but I’ll let it stay in
the book—only you ain’t finished it, Dumps. Hyear’s fo’ mo’ lines of
paper ain’t written yet.”
“That’s all I know,” replied Dumps. And Diddie, after considering
awhile, said she thought it would be very nice to wind it up with a
piece of poetry. Dumps was delighted at that suggestion, and the little
girls puzzled their brains for rhymes. After thinking for some time,
Diddie wrote,
“Once ’twas a little girl, and she was so bad,”
and read it aloud; then said, “Now, Dumps, sposin’ you make up the nex’
line.”
Dumps buried her face in her hands, and remained in deep study for a
few moments, and presently said,
“And now she is dead, an’ I am so glad.”
“Oh, Dumps, that’s too wicked,” said Diddie. “You mustn’t never be glad
when anybody’s dead; that’s too wicked a poetry; I sha’n’t write it in
the book.”
“Well, I nuver knowed nuthin’ else,” said Dumps. “I couldn’t hardly
make that up; I jes had ter study all my might; and I’m tired of
writin’ poetry, anyhow; you make it up all by yourse’f.”
Diddie, with her brows drawn together in a frown, and her eyes tight
shut, chewed the end of her pencil, and, after a few moments, said,
“Dumps, do you min’ ef the cow was to run his horns through her forrid
stid of her neck?”
“No, hit don’t make no diffrence to me,” replied Dumps.
“Well, then,” said Diddie, “ef ’twas her forrid, I kin fix it.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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