Dilemmas of Pride, (Vol 2 of 3)Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
General
Dilemmas of Pride, (Vol 2 of 3)
Loudon, Mrs. (Margracia)
Fiction
Alfred was indescribably shocked: the painful surmise which, on less
important occasions, had frequently crossed his imagination, now struck
him with redoubled force. His sympathy with his brother, mingled as it
was with the strange circumstances of his own case, became a sort of
agony. "Why should you, my dear Willoughby," he said, "who can command
every means of enjoyment this earth has to offer--why should you give
way to dreams, so wild, so incoherent? Banish all such thoughts, and let
me have at least the happiness of seeing you happy." An anxious
inquiring look was Willoughby's only reply to this. He shrank
unconsciously from seeking any unwelcome confession--a selfish feeling,
of which he was not aware, secretly urging him to believe without
probing too deeply, that Alfred was comparatively indifferent. In
silence, therefore, the brothers now bent their steps homewards, Alfred
reflecting the while on the peculiar cruelty of his fate; for if a
miracle could now be wrought in his favour, and Caroline be restored to
him all he had once believed her, his compassion for Willoughby, he
felt, would render the remainder of his own life wretched. Yet how did
his heart sicken at the thought of the scenes he must witness, the
confidences he must hear, the thoughtless railleries he must parry, if
he would act successfully the part which he felt it his duty to
maintain: for why should he wantonly embitter for another the cup of joy
which he was himself forbidden to taste; that other a brother whom he
fondly loved--a brother who he knew loved him with the most enthusiastic
affection? in short, in a futurity now become evidently unavoidable, he
beheld, as it were, all the appalling apparatus of torture displayed
before him, yet felt necessitated to submit his spirit to agony, with
almost the stern fortitude of an Indian chief, yielding his limbs to the
cruelty of his foes.
No sooner did he enter the drawing-room than his sisters began to teaze
him, first about the length of his visit; and when they found he had not
been admitted, one observed that a runaway lover did not deserve the
favour of an audience; another asked archly, if he had commissioned
Willoughby to take the sole charge of Caroline in his absence. Lord
Darlingford, who was holding a skein of silk on the extended fingers of
both hands for Jane to wind, being unconscious how painful the subject
was to Alfred, said that he would not suspect Mr. Arden of conduct so
imprudent, for that love-making by proxy was universally acknowledged to
be extremely perilous.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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