British -- Germany -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Husband and wife -- Fiction
"I did not deceive you," she said at last, with convincing sincerity.
"I wrote and told you that I would marry you—not that I loved you. I
knew I did not love you, because my love was given elsewhere. I loved
Wolff already then, but there was a barrier between us which I believed
to be insurmountable. I consented to become your wife because it seemed
the best and safest thing to do. Afterwards—it was almost immediately
afterwards—the barrier proved unavailing against our love, and I forgot
you. That is the brutal truth. I forgot you until it was too late,
because, you see, I did not feel more for you than friendship, and
because I really loved. That was weak, no doubt, but I had never loved
before, and it was too strong for me. A wiser woman would have waited
until she was free. She would have written to you and told you that it
was all a mistake. I wrote to you afterwards. That is the only
difference. The letter did not reach you, and you believed the worst of
me. It was only natural, and I know I am to blame, but oh! if you
really love, surely you can understand?"
He smiled at her unconscious cruelty, and, rising, took the outstretched
hands in his.
"I do understand," he said, "and the blame is all mine. I should never
have accepted your generous gift of yourself without your love. I might
have known that it would end badly. But you were so young, dear. I
thought I should be able to teach you to love. Well, some one else was
cleverer and had a better chance, perhaps, than I had. I have no right
to blame, nor do you need to feel any remorse on my account. The worst
wound is healed now that I can understand. My one prayer is that you
may be very, very happy." He studied her upturned face. "You are
happy, aren’t you, Nora?"
For the shortest part of a minute she wavered. She repeated the question
to herself and wondered.
"Yes, of course I am happy," she replied almost impatiently. "Why
should I not be?"
"I don’t know. Perhaps I am over-anxious for you. You see"—his faint
smile betrayed how deep his emotion was, in spite of all self-control—"I
still love you."
"I am glad," she answered frankly. "I care for you too, Robert, quite
enough to make me very sad if I should lose your regard. It made me
miserable to think that you probably hated and despised me."
"I never did that, though I believe I tried," he said. "And now that I
may not give you my love, I may at least feel that I am your friend?
Grant me that much, Nora. It is very little that I ask—your trust and
friendship."
It was indeed very little that he asked, and he had been more generous
to her than she could have ever dared to hope. And yet she hesitated.
"Nora!" he cried "Surely I have not deserved to lose everything!"
He was pleading as a beggar might have pleaded for the crumbs beneath
the table, and all that was generous in her responded. The hesitation,
the vague uneasiness passed. She gave him her hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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