British -- Germany -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Husband and wife -- Fiction
"Because I think that it is time for our relationship to each other to
be clearly settled," he said. "Ever since our childhood it has been an
unwritten understanding that if Hildegarde would have me we should
marry; and so I have come to ask her—if she will be my wife."
He spoke bluntly, coldly, not as he had meant to speak, but the steady
gaze on his face shook his composure.
"Have you the right to ask her that?"
"Aunt Magda!"
"Or, after all, have you been playing with the affections of a girl who
has the right to my protection?"
"Aunt Magda—that is not true—that——"
He stopped short, pale with agitation, his lips close compressed on the
hot words of self-vindication.
For a minute Frau von Arnim waited as though giving him time to speak,
and then she went on quietly:
"Wolff, we Arnims are not fond of charity. We prefer to eat out our
hearts in silence rather than be objects of the world’s pity. And
Hildegarde is like the rest of us. She will not ask for your sympathy
nor your care nor your devotion. She will ask you for your whole heart.
Can you give her that?"
He made a gesture as though about to give a hasty answer, but her eyes
stopped him.
"I—love Hildegarde," he stammered. "We have been friends all our
lives."
"Friends, Wolff! I said ’your whole heart.’"
And then he saw that she knew; and suddenly the tall, broad-shouldered
man dropped down, sword-clattering, at her side and buried his face in
his hands. The smile in Frau von Arnim’s eyes deepened. So he had done
in the earlier days when youthful scrapes and disappointments had sent
the usually proud, reserved boy to the one unfailing source of
understanding and consolation. Very gently she rested her hand upon his
shoulder.
"Shall you never grow up, Wolff?" she said with tender mockery. "Shall
you always be a big schoolboy, with the one difference that you have
grown conceited and believe that you can hide behind a full-dress
uniform and a gruff military voice—even from my eyes?"
He lifted his flushed, troubled face to hers.
"You know—everything?" he asked.
"Everything, _lieber Junge_. Hildegarde knows, Johann knows, the cook
knows. I should not be surprised if the very sparrows make it a subject
of their chattering. And you can go about with that stern face and
mysterious, close-shut mouth and think you have deceived us all! Oh,
Wolff, Wolff!"
"You are laughing at me," he said. "God knows I am in deadly earnest."
She took his hand between her own.
"If I laugh at you it is because I must," she said; "because it is the
only thing to do. There are some forms of quixotic madness which it is
dangerous to take seriously, and this is one of them. Wolff, you have
tortured yourself with an uncalled-for remorse until you are ready to
throw your own life and the lives of others into a huge catastrophe. In
all this, have you thought what it might mean to Nora?"
He started, and the colour ebbed out of his face, leaving it curiously
pale and haggard.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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