Slowly he picked himself up and fumbled at the air valve. Something in
the intake tubes had jammed under the shock of landing, and the air was
no longer circulating properly. Filled with the moisture of his own
breath, it felt hot and clammy, and clouded the viewplates.
If he had kept all his wits about him he would have tried to remember,
before he took a chance, whether the planet had an oxygen atmosphere,
and whether the oxygen was of sufficient concentration to support human
life. Not that he had any real choice, but it would have been good to
know. As it was, he turned the air valve automatically, and listened
nervously as the stale air hissed out and the fresh air hissed in.
He took a deep breath. It didn't kill him. Instead, it sent his blood
racing around with new energy. Slowly the moisture evaporated from his
viewplates. Slowly he began to see.
He perceived that he was not alone. A group of people stood in front of
him, respectful, their own eyes full of fear and wonder. Some one
uttered a hoarse cry and pointed at his helmet. The unclouding of the
viewplates must have stricken them with awe.
The air was wonderful to breathe. He would have liked to remove his
helmet and fill his lungs with it unhampered, expose his face to its
soft caress, expand his chest with the constriction of the suit. But
these people--
They must have seen him tumble down from the sky and land unhurt. They
carried food and flowers, and now they were kneeling down to him as to
a--Suddenly he realized. To them he was a god.
The thought of it made him weak. To Malevski and the ship's crew he was
a criminal, a cheap chiseler and pickpocket, almost a murderer, escaping
credit for _that_ crime only by grace of his own good luck and his
victim's thick skull. They had felt such contempt for him that they
hadn't even bothered to guard him too carefully. They had thought him a
complete coward, without the courage to risk an escape, without the
intelligence to find the opportunities that might be offered to him.
They hadn't realized how terrified he was of the thing with which they
threatened him. Regeneration, the giving up of his old identity? Not for
him. They hadn't realized that he preferred the risks of a dangerous
escape to the certainty of _that_.
And here he was a god.
* * * * *
He lifted his hand without thinking, to wipe away the perspiration that
covered his forehead. But before the hand touched his helmet he realized
what he was doing, and let the hand drop again.
To the people watching him the gesture must have seemed one of double
significance. It was at once a sign of acceptance of their food and
flowers, and their offer of good-will, and at the same time an order to
withdraw. They bowed, and moved backwards away from him. Behind him they
left their gifts.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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