Golf stories, English; Golfers -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English
“Any sort. I could only love a really brave man--a man who had done
some wonderful heroic action.”
“Shall we go in?” said Rollo, hoarsely. “The air is a little chilly.”
We have now, therefore, arrived at a period in Rollo Podmarsh’s career
which might have inspired those lines of Henley’s about “the night that
covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole.” What with one thing and
another, he was in an almost Job-like condition of despondency. I say
“one thing and another,” for it was not only hopeless love that weighed
him down. In addition to being hopelessly in love, he was greatly
depressed about his golf.
* * * * *
On Rollo in his capacity of golfer I have so far not dwelt. You have
probably allowed yourself, in spite of the significant episode of the
pipe, to dismiss him as one of those placid, contented--shall I say
dilettante?--golfers who are so frequent in these degenerate days.
Such was not the case. Outwardly placid, Rollo was consumed inwardly
by an ever-burning fever of ambition. His aims were not extravagant.
He did not want to become amateur champion, nor even to win a monthly
medal; but he did, with his whole soul, desire one of these days to
go round the course in under a hundred. This feat accomplished, it
was his intention to set the seal on his golfing career by playing a
real money-match; and already he had selected his opponent, a certain
Colonel Bodger, a tottery performer of advanced years who for the last
decade had been a martyr to lumbago.
But it began to look as if even the modest goal he had marked out for
himself were beyond his powers. Day after day he would step on to the
first tee, glowing with zeal and hope, only to crawl home in the quiet
evenfall with another hundred and twenty on his card. Little wonder,
then, that he began to lose his appetite and would moan feebly at the
sight of a poached egg.
With Mrs. Podmarsh sedulously watching over her son’s health, you
might have supposed that this inability on his part to teach the
foodstuffs to take a joke would have caused consternation in the home.
But it so happened that Rollo’s mother had recently been reading a
medical treatise in which an eminent physician stated that we all
eat too much nowadays, and that the secret of a happy life is to lay
off the carbohydrates to some extent. She was, therefore, delighted
to observe the young man’s moderation in the matter of food, and
frequently held him up as an example to be noted and followed by little
Lettice Willoughby, her grand-daughter, who was a good and consistent
trencherwoman, particularly rough on the puddings. Little Lettice, I
should mention, was the daughter of Rollo’s sister Enid, who lived in
the neighbourhood. Mrs. Willoughby had been compelled to go away on
a visit a few days before and had left her child with Mrs. Podmarsh
during her absence.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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