I have no belief that long illness is good for the mass of people, but
the character of the adult sufferer is in his or her own hands to make,
mar, or mend. In childhood the mother is in large measure responsible
for the ductile being in her care. If she believes that unrestraint is
her duty, she is laying up for the invalid a retribution which soon or
late will bitterly visit on the child the sin or, if you like, the
mistakes of the parent. It is her business and duty, no matter how hard
may be to her the trial, to see that this child, above all others, shall
be taught patience, gentleness, good temper, and self-control in all its
varieties, nor should she fail to point out, as health returns and years
go by, that it is not all of life to be straight and uncrippled. I need
not dwell on this. Every wise woman will understand me, and be able to
put in practice better than I can here state what I might more fully
say.
I do not wish, however, to be understood as urging that all children
long ill or crippled grow to be unamiable and spoiled. I do not quite
know why it is, but, after all, children are less apt to suffer morally
from long illness than adults, and very often, despite careless or
thoughtless usage, these young sufferers come out as wholesome in mind
and heart as if they had known no trial, or, perhaps, because of it. It
is in a measure a matter of original temperament. In other words, what
the sick child was as to character modified results, and this is
especially true as concerns the peculiarities which attract unpleasant
notice. One person who has twitching of the muscles of the face is made
miserable by the attention it invites; another is indifferent.
The cases of Lord Byron and Walter Scott are to the point. The former
was sensitive and morbid about his deformity. I cannot help thinking
that had his mother been other than she was, he would have been brought
up to more wholesome views as to what was after all no very great
calamity. Walter Scott suffered from a like trouble, but healthy moral
surroundings and a cheerful nature saved him from the consequences which
fell so heavily upon his brother poet.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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