The dinner is over--the first _tête-à-tête_ dinner that John and Peggy
have ever shared. To dine _tête-à-tête_ with her in her own still house,
amid her old and homely surroundings, with the summer evening tossing
them in its lavish perfumes through the wide-opened windows, would have
seemed to him, a month ago, the realisation of his fairest and most
hopeless dream. But in their translation into the bald language of
reality--the jejune prose of fact--our dreams have a way of losing their
finer essence. It has escaped, without our being able to tell whither or
by what channel. Over both a sort of wet blanket has fallen. Try as he
may, Talbot's temper cannot recover from the poignant disappointment of
his lost last evening; and try as she may--broken in, as she is, by a
lifetime's habit of self-sacrifice--Peggy cannot hinder the lump from
rising in her throat, and the tears from crowding into her eyes, at the
reflection that her own hand has cut off, and flung away, the blossoms
of these final crowning hours. How many things she had saved to say to
him on this last evening--things too tender for her shamefacedness to
utter, save under the justification of an imminent severance--things
that he would have liked to have heard all through these days, but that
she had laid up in the storehouse of her heart as too close and sacred
for aught but to sweeten their parting! How can she say them now across
a dinner-table, with Sarah coming out and in, Prue sending peevish
messages to her, a score of trivial interruptions forbidding any but
the most banal talk? It was only with her head on her love's breast, in
the dusk of the starshine, that she could ever have found courage to
utter them. When will they be uttered now? The present, the brave solid
present, is our own, to caress or misuse; but who dares say to the
future, that formless form wrapped in uncertain gray, 'Thou art mine'?
And now the dinner is over, and they have separated, with spurious
coldness. Peggy has vanished upstairs to her sister, and Talbot is left
to employ the hours of his last evening as he best may. It is true that
Margaret has eagerly begged him to take possession of house and garden,
and has held out tearful hopes of snatching here and there a moment from
Prue's sick exactions to give him. But his ireful restlessness will not
allow him to accept this concession. It would be worse to be within
apparent reach of her, yet just beyond her eye and touch, than to be
quite outside her domain. He tells her so, half harshly; and opening the
gate into the park, takes himself and his ill-temper to the oaks and the
deer for consolation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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