Doctor Grimshawe's Secret — a RomanceHawthorne, Nathaniel
Science
Doctor Grimshawe's Secret — a Romance
Hawthorne, Nathaniel
Fiction
There was, however, an affection mingled with this sentiment. It
appeared to be his unfortunate necessity to let his thoughts dwell very
constantly upon a subject that was hateful to him, with which this old
English estate and manor-house and family were somehow connected; and,
moreover, had he spoken thus to older and more experienced auditors,
they might have detected in the manner and matter of his talk, a certain
hereditary reverence and awe, the growth of ages, mixed up with a newer
hatred, impelling him to deface and destroy what, at the same time, it
was his deepest impulse to bow before. The love belonged to his race;
the hatred, to himself individually. It was the feeling of a man lowly
born, when he contracts a hostility to his hereditary superior. In
one way, being of a powerful, passionate nature, gifted with force and
ability far superior to that of the aristocrat, he might scorn him and
feel able to trample on him; in another, he had the same awe that a
country boy feels of the magistrate who flings him a sixpence and shakes
his horsewhip at him.
Had the grim Doctor been an American, he might have had the vast
antipathy to rank, without the trace of awe that made it so much more
malignant: it required a low-born Englishman to feel the two together.
What made the hatred so fiendish was a something that, in the natural
course of things, would have been loyalty, inherited affection, devoted
self-sacrifice to a superior. Whatever it might be, it seemed at times
(when his potations took deeper effect than ordinary) almost to drive
the grim Doctor mad; for he would burst forth in wild diatribes and
anathemas, having a strange, rough force of expression and a depth of
utterance, as if his words came from a bottomless pit within himself,
where burned an everlasting fire, and where the furies had their home;
and plans of dire revenge were welded into shape as in the heat of a
furnace. After the two poor children had been affrighted by paroxysms
of this kind, the strange being would break out into one of his roars of
laughter, that seemed to shake the house, and, at all events, caused
the cobwebs and spiders suspended from the ceiling, to swing and vibrate
with the motion of the volumes of reverberating breath which he thus
expelled from his capacious lungs. Then, catching up little Elsie upon
one knee and Ned upon the other, he would become gentler than in his
usual moods, and, by the powerful magnetism of his character, cause them
to think him as tender and sweet an old fellow as a child could desire
for a playmate. Upon the whole, strange as it may appear, they loved
the grim Doctor dearly; there was a loadstone within him that drew them
close to him and kept them there, in spite of the horror of many things
that he said and did. One thing that, slight as it seemed, wrought
mightily towards their mutually petting each other, was that no amount
of racket, hubbub, shouting, laughter, or noisy mischief which the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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