American fiction -- 19th century; Detective and mystery stories
“Oh,” interposed the doctor, starting back before the beauty of her
face, “don’t tell me that a woman’s heart can, like a man’s, be the
secret sepulchre of a living passion for fifteen years. I could not bear
to know that! The struggle which I waged fourteen years ago I have not
strength to wage now. No! no! woman of my dreams, of my heart’s dearest
emotion, loved once, loved now, loved always! tell me anything but
_that_,—tell me even that you hate me.”
Her eyes, which had fallen before his, swam suddenly with tears and she
started as if for protection toward the door.
“Oh, I must go,” she cried. “Clarke is waiting; it is not wise; it is
not seemly for me to be here.” But the doctor, into whom a fiery glow
had entered, was beside her before she could reach the threshold. “No,
no,” he pleaded, “not till you have uttered one word, one whisper of the
old story; one assurance—Ah, now I am entreating for the very thing, the
existence of which, I deprecated a few minutes ago! It shows how
unbalanced I am. Yes, yes, you can go; but, Grace, if you have ever
doubted that I loved you, listen to this one confession. Ever since the
day we parted, necessarily parted, fourteen years ago, I have never let
a week go by till these last few ones during which I have been away from
Hamilton, that I have not given up two nights a week to thinking of you
and watching you.”
“Watching me!”
“Twice a week for fourteen years have I sat for an hour in Mrs.
Fanning’s west window that overlooks your gardens. Thence, unnoted by
everybody, I have noted you, if by happy chance you walked in the
garden; and if you did not, noted the house that held you and the man
who sheltered your youth.”
“Oswald,”—she felt impelled to speak, “if—if you loved me like this, why
did you send me that cruel letter two days after our engagement? Why did
you bid me forget you and marry some one else, if you had not forgotten
me and did not wish me to release you in order that you might satisfy
your own wishes in another direction?”
“Grace, if I could explain myself now I could have explained myself
then. Fate, which is oftenest cruel to the most loving and passionate
hearts, has denied me the privilege of marriage, and when I found it
out——”
“True, you have never married. Cruel, cruel one! Why did you not let me
know that you would always live single for my sake; it would have made
it possible for me to have lived single for yours.”
The doctor with the love of a lifetime burning in his eyes, shook his
head at this, and answered: “That would have shown me to be a selfish
egotist, and I did not want to be other than generous to you. No, Grace,
all was done for the best; and this is for the best, this greeting and
this second parting. The love which we have acknowledged to-night will
be a help and not a hindrance to us both. But we will meet again, not
very soon, for I cannot trust a strength which has yielded so completely
at your first smile.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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