Imaginary wars and battles -- Fiction; Science fiction
It was soon poured out and upon the table. Grandmother noticed that its
color was black as ink, and she felt a thrill of anxiety run down her
spinal column as she poured it into the cups. Aunt Joanna, my
grandmother's sister, was the oracle of the settlement on social
matters, and by tacit consent, all awaited until she had first tasted
the new beverage. Each felt that a great event was at hand, and the fate
of Gunpowder tea was about to be settled, once and forever, in that
settlement. So Aunt Joanna, fully alive to a sense of her position and
responsibility, with great deliberation took a generous sip of the
candidate for social favor. Her eyes filled with tears; she coughed
furiously behind her handkerchief, and a spasm of disgust and nausea
went to her very toes. Then she sat straight, grim, and silent as
death. Each of the other old ladies went through about the same motions.
And now grandmother, who had been puttering about, waiting upon her
guests, noticed that something was wrong.
'Well, Joan, how do you like Gunpowder tea?'
'Taste it, Lois,' was all Aunt Joan would condescend to reply. She
complied, taking quite a generous swallow.
'Oh! my stars!' she fairly screamed, 'What horrible stuff is this?
Waugh!'
'Why, that is Gunpowder tea, Lois,' said Aunt Joan with grim sarcasm.
'Beautiful, isn't it?'
'There is some awful mistake about this,' said grandmother. 'I'll see
that drunken Pete about it.'
Pete was called in. Grandmother brought the box of tea out before him
and said: 'Pete, what is the matter with this tea? It has nearly
poisoned us all to death. What is this black stuff mixed up with the
tea?'
The Dutchman looked at it stupidly for a moment, then his mouth expanded
from ear to ear, and he roared with laughter. 'Dunder und blixen, Aunt
Loish, but dot vos a goot choke on you. Dot vos Gunpowder dee mitout any
mishtake,' and again he howled with laughter.
The long and short of the matter was, that Pete had bought a pound of
tea and a pound of gunpowder, and had put the two packages into the same
pocket before getting drunk. During his drunken brawling and fighting
the papers had become broken, with the result related."
The evening was balmy and beautiful, and they promenaded about the
balcony until the shades of night had set in. The twinkling lights of
the towns and farmhouses began to appear. They were passing over the
mountainous region of southeastern Pennsylvania, and the globe had
ascended to the four thousand foot level. The wind had shifted to nearly
due west.
"Where are we now, Doctor?" asked Mattie.
"We are crossing the southern portion of Pennsylvania. We are traveling
nearly due west. I shall seek a more northerly current to-morrow morning
if this wind does not become more favorable by that time."
They finally tired of walking and sat conversing until nearly ten
o'clock, when, by general consent, they retired, except Will, who
remained up to keep a lookout, and to watch the barometer and
thermometer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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