France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
The long study which he had made of heredity, his important researches,
his works, completed the poisoning of his peace, furnishing him with
ever renewed causes of disquietude. To the question which he put to
himself continually as to his own hereditary case, the documents were
there to answer it by all possible combinations. They were so numerous
that he lost himself among them now. If he had deceived himself, if he
could not set himself apart, as a remarkable case of variation, should
he place himself under the head of reversional heredity, passing over
one, two, or even three generations? Or was his case rather a
manifestation of larvated heredity, which would bring anew proof to the
support of his theory of the germ plasm, or was it simply a singular
case of hereditary resemblance, the sudden apparition of some unknown
ancestor at the very decline of life?
From this moment he never rested, giving himself up completely to the
investigation of his case, searching his notes, rereading his books.
And he studied himself, watching the least of his sensations, to deduce
from them the facts on which he might judge himself. On the days when
his mind was most sluggish, or when he thought he experienced
particular phenomena of vision, he inclined to a predominance of the
original nervous lesion; while, if he felt that his limbs were
affected, his feet heavy and painful, he imagined he was suffering the
indirect influence of some ancestor come from outside. Everything
became confused, until at last he could recognize himself no longer, in
the midst of the imaginary troubles which agitated his disturbed
organism. And every evening the conclusion was the same, the same knell
sounded in his brain—heredity, appalling heredity, the fear of becoming
mad.
In the early part of January Clotilde was an involuntary spectator of a
scene which wrung her heart. She was sitting before one of the windows
of the study, reading, concealed by the high back of her chair, when
she saw Pascal, who had been shut up in his room since the day before,
entering. He held open before his eyes with both hands a sheet of
yellow paper, in which she recognized the genealogical tree. He was so
completely absorbed, his gaze was so fixed, that she might have come
forward without his observing her. He spread the tree upon the table,
continuing to look at it for a long time, with the terrified expression
of interrogation which had become habitual to him, which gradually
changed to one of supplication, the tears coursing down his cheeks.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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