France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
The servant had been surprised at certain words which she had overheard
by chance during the day. Suddenly she understood, and she turned paler
even than before, and on her way out of the room, she stopped at the
door to hear more.
“The key of the press is under his pillow,” said Ramond, lowering his
voice; “he told me repeatedly to tell you so. You know what you have to
do?”
Clotilde made an effort to remember and to answer.
“What I have to do? About the papers, is it not? Yes, yes, I remember;
I am to keep the envelopes and to give you the other manuscripts. Have
no fear, I am quite calm, I will be very reasonable. But I will not
leave him; I will spend the night here very quietly, I promise you.”
She was so unhappy, she seemed so resolved to watch by him, to remain
with him, until he should be taken away, that the young physician
allowed her to have her way.
“Well, I will leave you now. They will be expecting me at home. Then
there are all sorts of formalities to be gone through—to give notice at
the mayor’s office, the funeral, of which I wish to spare you the
details. Trouble yourself about nothing. Everything will be arranged
to-morrow when I return.”
He embraced her once more and then went away. And it was only then that
Martine left the room, behind him, and locking the hall door she ran
out into the darkness.
Clotilde was now alone in the chamber; and all around and about her, in
the unbroken silence, she felt the emptiness of the house. Clotilde was
alone with the dead Pascal. She placed a chair at the head of the bed
and sat there motionless, alone. On arriving, she had merely removed
her hat: now, perceiving that she still had on her gloves, she took
them off also. But she kept on her traveling dress, crumpled and dusty,
after twenty hours of railway travel. No doubt Father Durieu had
brought the trunks long ago, and left them downstairs. But it did not
occur to her, nor had she the strength to wash herself and change her
clothes, but remained sitting, overwhelmed with grief, on the chair
into which she had dropped. One regret, a great remorse, filled her to
the exclusion of all else. Why had she obeyed him? Why had she
consented to leave him? If she had remained she had the ardent
conviction that he would not have died. She would have lavished so much
love, so many caresses upon him, that she would have cured him. If one
was anxious to keep a beloved being from dying one should remain with
him and, if necessary, give one’s heart’s blood to keep him alive. It
was her own fault if she had lost him, if she could not now with a
caress awaken him from his eternal sleep. And she thought herself
imbecile not to have understood; cowardly, not to have devoted herself
to him; culpable, and to be forever punished for having gone away when
plain common sense, in default of feeling, ought to have kept her here,
bound, as a submissive and affectionate subject, to the task of
watching over her king.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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