“It’s my fault!” he cried aloud. “I ought to have known she couldn’t
take care of herself properly. It’s my fault! The poor little thing!
She’s done some fool trick—got her feet wet—probably makes her lunch
of an ice cream soda—perhaps she can’t afford any lunch. And
now—pneumonia! She had no _right_ to get pneumonia! It’s—”
He stopped short, in a still, dark little lane, clenched his hands,
stood there shaken by pain, by anger, by all the unreason of grief and
anxiety.
“She ought to have known better!” he shouted.
VII
When he came downstairs the next morning, Mrs. Brown regarded his
strained and haggard face with profound interest, and she observed to
one of the old ladies that she believed Mr. Anderson was “coming down
with something.”
He made inquiries about Miss Selby’s health, and obtained very vague
and confused replies, which he interpreted as people jaded and
despondent from a bad night are apt to interpret things. He went into
the dining room, but he could eat no breakfast. Who could, sitting
alone at a little table, opposite an empty chair? Then he went out
again.
It was a rainy day, but that was so fitting that he scarcely noticed
it. He remembered having seen a greenhouse not far away, and he went
there. It was not open on Sunday, but he made it be open. He banged so
loud and so long on the door that at last an old man came out of a
near-by cottage.
“It’s a case of pneumonia!” said the young man, fiercely. “I’ve got to
have some flowers.”
So he was admitted to the greenhouse, and he bought everything there
was, and then sat down at a little desk to write a card. He never
forgot the writing of that card, the rain drumming down on the glass
roof, the palms and rubber trees standing about him, and the hot,
moist, steamy smell like a jungle. He never forgot what he wrote, or
how he felt while he wrote it.
But there would be no use in repeating what he wrote, for nobody ever
read that card.
He put it with the flowers, and set off home. When he got there he
gave the bouquet, very sodden now, to Mrs. Brown’s servant, and said
to her:
“Please give this to Miss Selby. Give it to her yourself; don’t send
it.”
Then he went up to his own room and locked the door. And the room was
all filled with the gray light of a rainy day.
The clang of the dinner bell startled him; he jumped up, scowling, and
muttered: “Oh, shut up!” But, just the same, he had to obey it. He had
to go downstairs, and had to sit at the little table.
Scarcely had he sat down when he saw Miss Selby enter the room—Miss
Selby in a new dark green linen dress, looking unusually pretty, and
not even pale.
He arose; he was pale enough. He couldn’t speak. She must have
received that card; she must have read it. As she glanced at him, he
saw the color deepen in her cheeks, and her smile was uncertain. She
was so lovely.
“I thought—” he began.
She sat down, and he did, too. Again their eyes met.
“It’s a miserable day,” she observed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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