But you see, In spite of all we do, however high And fiercely mounts desire, life imposes Repression, sacrifice, renunciation. And our poor souls fall muddied in the ditch, Or take the discipline and live life out. So Elenor Murray lived and did not fail. And so it was the knowledge of her life Kept me in spite of failures at the task Of holding to my self. These two months passed I found I had not killed desire--found Among a group a chance to try again For happiness, but knew it was not there. Then to my children I came back and said: "Free once again through suffering." So I prayed: "Come to me flame of spirit, fire of worship, Bright fire of song; if I but be myself, Work through my fate, you shall be mine at last."... Then was it that I heard from Elenor Murray-- Such letters, such outpourings of herself! Poor woman leaving love that could not be More than it was; how wise she was to fly, And use that love for service, as she did; Extract its purest essence for the war, And ease death with it, merging love and death Into that mystic union, seen at last By Elenor Murray. When I heard she came All broken from the war, and died somehow There by the river, then she seemed to me More near--I seemed to feel her; little zephyrs Blowing about my face, when I sat looking Over the sea in my rose bower, seemed The exhalation of her soul that caught Its breath for words. I see her in my dreams-- O, my pure soul, what have you been to me, What must you be hereafter! But my friend, And I must call you friend, whose strength in life Drives you to find economies of spirit, And save the waste of spirit, you must find Whatever waste there was of Elenor Murray Of love or faith, or time, or strength, great gain In spite of early chances, father, mother, Too loveless, negligent, or ignorant; Her mother instinct never blessed with children. I sometimes think no life is without use-- For even weeds that sow themselves, frost reaped And matted on the ground, enrich the soil, Or feed some life. Our eyes must see the end Of what these growths are for, before we say Where waste is and where gain. * * * * *