"I make no excuses for myself; she was young and innocent as a dreaming
child. I ought to have looked on her beautiful face and left her. My
lord, am I altogether to blame? The lonely young girl at Knutsford
pined for what I could give her--happiness and pleasure did not seem so
far removed from me. Had she been in her proper place I could never
have addressed her.
"Not to you can I tell the details of my love story--how I worshiped
with passionate love the beautiful, innocent child who smiled into my
face and drank in my words. I asked her to be my wife, and she
promised. My lord, I never for a moment dreamed that she would ever
have a home with you--it did not seem to me possible. I intended to
return and marry her, firmly believing that in some respects my rank
and condition in life were better than her own. She promised to be
true to me, to love no one else, to wait for me, and to marry me when I
returned.
"I believe now that she never loved me. My love and devotion were but
a pleasant interruption in the monotony of her life. They were to blame
also who allowed her no pleasures--who forced her to resort to this
stolen one.
"My lord, I placed a ring upon your daughter's finger, and pledged my
faith to her. I can not tell you what my love was like; it was a
fierce fire that consumed me night and day.
"I was to return and claim her in two years. Absence made me love her
more. I came back, rich in gold, my heart full of happiness, hope
making everything bright and beautiful. I went straight to
Knutsford--alas! she was no longer there! And then I heard that the
girl I loved so deeply and so dearly was Lord Earle's daughter.
"I did not dream of losing her; birth, title, and position seemed as
nothing beside my mighty, passionate love. I thought nothing of your
consent, but only of her; and I went to Earlescourt. My lord, I wrote
to her, and my heart was in every line. She sent me a cold reply. I
wrote again; I swore I would see her. She sent her sister to me with
the reply. Then I grew desperate, and vowed I would lay my claim
before you. I asked her to meet me out in the grounds, at night,
unseen and unknown. She consented, and on Thursday night I met her
near the shrubbery.
"How I remember her pretty pleading words, her beautiful proud face!
She asked me to release her. She said that it had all been child's
play--a foolish mistake--and that if I would give her her freedom from
a foolish promise she would always be my friend. At first I would not
hear of it; but who could have refused her? If she had told me to lie
down at her feet and let her trample the life out of me, I should have
submitted.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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