She realised the difficulty of working steadily at home, knowing the thousand distractions, social and domestic, that come to divert a girl from any definite pursuits. So she adopted the plan of writing her history in a large empty room at the top of the house. Here she would work without a fire on cold winter days. Whether this was an expression of the desire for Spartan simplicity of life which she always had, or was done simply to keep away members of the family who might wish to come and chat, one cannot say. Dorothea Beale had evidently undertaken some work as secretary and collector for the Church Penitentiary Association and for a Diocesan Home at Highgate, working with Mrs. Lancaster. The latter greatly appreciated her and her conscientious work, and realised what a valuable helper she would be, if she could enlist her in this great service. She approached her with the suggestion that she should take the headship of the Home. Dorothea Beale considered the offer but refused. This must have been a great test of faith in her own judgment. Behind her were two experiences, both of which had ended in apparent failure because of her inability to agree with the authorities. No educational work was in view, and she must have questioned her own wisdom in refusing this opportunity of service which came to her. Yet it seems as if at this time there dawned on her mind the deep conviction that she was called to educational work among her own class: that with her temperament and ideas so much in advance of her own time a headship was the only post that would give her the scope and freedom that she needed if she was to do her best work. And so she waited, not with idle hands and brain, but fully occupied with her history, her teaching, and home duties. It was probably about this time that she began her Diary, which she kept with some intervals until the year 1901. The purpose of it seems to have been to keep a record not of outward events but rather of her moral and spiritual life. In it we have one of the many evidences of that sternness towards herself which she maintained in all circumstances of life, even in illness. Earlier, perhaps, than most people, she seems to have realised that her influence on others would depend entirely on what she herself was. One or two quotations from her journal will illustrate the purpose of it. _March 6._--History. Aunt E. came. Cross at not getting my own way. Some idleness. Impatient manner. _April 14._--History. Elizabeth. Called on the Blenkarnes. Dined at Chapter House. Idle. Indulgence in reading story at my time for evening prayer. Unpunctual in morning. Thoughtless about Mama. _April 20._--History, 16th Century. Felt terribly cross. O grant me calmness. _June 4._--Saw Mrs. Barret. Copied. Neglected prayer greatly. Very worldly. _June 7._--Wrote letters. A terrible blank of worldliness. Idle.