If you are blessed with a sufficient income, a snug club, a cheerful
abode and a good digestion, there is nothing very terrible in the above.
But, if your shillings are scanty in number, and each one disbursed
with infinite reluctance, if you have been so long in a far country as
to be unknown to, or forgotten by, every living soul, if you are
condemned to pig it in a miserable slum, because needs must when the
devil drives--then, O friend and reader--Heaven help you!
Midwinter in the metropolis!
Streets knee-deep in black, slushy, half-melted snow; a pelting,
ceaseless rain falling from the opaque, lowering vapour above, which
makes one doubt the existence of Heaven's blue firmament otherwise than
in dreams; foot passengers with streaming umbrellas and muffled in vast
wraps, jostling each other angrily, as, red-nosed and watery-eyed, they
hurry through the rain and mire; then, as the short afternoon fades into
night, the yellow light of gas lamps and the glare of shop windows
reflects itself slimily on the sloppy pavements, and the breath of the
cab and omnibus horses mingles in a steamy cloud with the prevailing
dank and fog-laden atmosphere.
On just such a day as this Roland Dorrien sits moodily in his dreary,
comfortless room, looking out into the darkling vista of rain and fog.
A tiny handful of fire flickers in the grate, hardly enough to make
itself felt twelve inches off, and though he is wrapped in a warm, thick
overcoat he shivers from time to time. He is looking very altered from
when we saw him last, three or four months ago, very pale, and haggard,
and hollow-eyed, and a frown is seldom altogether away from his brow;
but his clothes are not shabby, nor does his countenance wear the
neglected and unkempt aspect of a man who had come down so irretrievably
in the world as to be careless of appearances. His dark curling hair is
as neat, but his face is no longer clean-shaven, for he has allowed a
thickly-growing beard to hide it, in addition to the heavy, drooping
moustache. From a vestiary point of view he would seem as prosperous as
in the days when he was known to, and envied by, Wandsborough and its
neighbourhood as the future Squire of Cranston. But as a set-off
against this, he seldom indulges in more than one full meal a day,
sometimes not that. Prevention is better than cure, he thinks, and if
the pangs of hunger assail him, why, a crust of bread will stave it off
for the time being. As a consequence, his system is rapidly falling to
zero, and now he lives in a kind of lethargy which is half a waking
slumber. He goes out and comes in, taking not the slightest notice of
what transpires around him, and of society or acquaintances he has none.
In the intervals between his brooding fits, his pen affords him a
solace, and at times he will sit down and by the hour confide his
reflections to sympathising paper, strange, weird fancies and
reasonings, so startling and _bizarre_ in their wildness, that, but for
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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