His haggard eyes devoured the sweet face which was bent down upon his
hands, and he felt that if hell itself opened to receive him its
torments would be rest compared with what he was undergoing at that
moment. The pleading voice, the little hands imprisoning his own as she
leant upon him, giving herself to him as it were in all the rich fulness
of her love--this for which he had hungered and agonised, sleeping and
waking, during the long weary period of his hopeless exile, and which,
now that he had obtained it, he must deliberately forego. In one short
hour, in fact, he would be apart from her, in bitter loneliness once
more. No--there was no hope. His pride was a part of himself.
Penniless and an outcast, how could he keep for himself and wear this
priceless jewel? And now he was something more--he bore a burden that
not all the untold wealth of ages could take from him. And yet at this
moment he felt as if he could imbrue his hands in the most pitiless of
crimes, to obtain the wealth which should save them both.
"My darling, you will not leave me again!"
Not the scud in the dark, lowering sky above--not the wild waves
plunging and careering before the shrieking wind, to hurl themselves
madly upon yonder sharp rocks--not the whirl of air and water and
vaporous cloud, was more storm-tossed and chaotic than the thoughts
which surged through the man's soul, and flashed with well-nigh the
fires of mania in his overwrought brain. His reply came--hoarse and
labouring.
"I must."
The sweet, sad face sank down upon his hands, which her own were
grasping with an almost convulsive clutch, and a shiver like a great
choking sob ran through her. She had found him--the wanderer whom
everybody else had lost sight of. She had found him, as was her right,
for he belonged to her. She had found him--how then could she let him
wander from her again, away into the outer darkness of the cold, wide
world! All too lightly had she valued those days in the by-gone past,
until they had fled, never to return.
O fairest summer, with thy many-hued glories of rich verdure, and
heathery-crimson and golden-tinted hills keeping watch above an azure
sea! O halcyon time, of vows whispered amid the radiance of a passing
glow from Heaven's bright plains, as the westering sun drove his great
amber-wheeled chariot down to his rest, shedding back an ethereal lustre
upon a love-dawn which should lend a hundredfold more of beauty to a
beauteous world--where are you now? Gone. And you--leaden waves,
tossing wildly to the misty wrack above--storm-blast howling o'er the
watery waste--cliffs spectral and grey, throwing back with hollow echo
the surges' tone--to you it is given, in mocking fitness, to behold the
anguish of two breaking hearts, here on the lone seashore!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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