"You will think me bold in stating that the religious side of the
question does not weigh with me in the least--circumstances alter
cases," was his reply. "And at any rate, Dr Ingelow, you will allow
that I have never tried to win your favour by feigning a religion which
I did not feel. However, to confine ourselves to the matter in hand. I
have tried my utmost to satisfy you in what you asked, and have failed.
But as I am perfectly in a position to marry independently of my
father's consent, I trust your answer will be favourable."
Outwardly calmness itself, the rector was in reality much perplexed. A
terrible family quarrel had taken place, indirectly owing to him and
his--a reflection sufficiently distressing to one of his refinement of
feeling. Then, again, this young man must not be allowed to throw up
his prospects for life in a fit of rash impulse and hot temper. No--at
all costs this must be prevented.
"We will waive the question of duty," he said. "But is there no chance
of a reconciliation? Surely there is. When you get to my age you will
realise that life is too short for these prolonged feuds; quarrels
between blood relations are of all things the most heart-rending, and
the day may come when you will bitterly regret this one. And then, to
take a lower ground. How can you, in a moment of anger, and all for the
sake of a few hasty words, throw up your really splendid prospects? And
how can I be a party to your doing so. Surely you must see that it is
impossible."
"There is no chance of any reconciliation," answered Roland
deliberately. "I would hardly forgive one or two of the things he dared
to say, even if he were to go down on his knees and beg me to--and I
think even you would hardly expect him to do that. As for what you are
good enough to call `a few hasty words,' I tell you we exchanged
opinions of each other that would have made your hair stand on end could
you have heard us; nor was that all. In the matter of prospects, I have
always considered my chances of ever possessing Cranston to be so very
vague and shadowy as not seriously worth reckoning in the light of
prospects. And then, look what such `prospects' would involve. Perhaps
twenty years of absolute slavery to the whims and caprices of the
hardest and most unloving of masters. Only think of that! And at fifty
I might find myself in possession, and Heaven knows I should deserve to.
So, in renouncing these most shadowy prospects, this morning, I could
not feel that I was actually undergoing any real loss. But I thought I
had made all this clear to you yesterday--I mean as regarded the
uncertainty of any prospects beyond the actual means in my possession,"
he added in an anxious tone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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