"I don't think you understand me, Mr Dorrien," said the rector, rather
stiffly. "I might have hoped you would have known me better than to
suppose that I was reasoning otherwise than disinterestedly in this
matter of your eventually possessing Cranston or not; or that the latter
contingency would detract in my eyes from your eligibility to become my
daughter's husband, you being otherwise in a satisfactory position.
What I did mean to convey was this. You are young now; all your
feelings and aspirations are strong, and warm, and healthful, and you
are capable of self-sacrifice; you dearly love my child. I can see that
readily enough, although you are not one of the effusive order of
lovers," he went on, his tone softening, and a quiet, kindly smile
gleaming in his eyes. "You would make any sacrifice for her--and for
all this I honour you. But, as I said before, you are young. Well.
You give up this inheritance, and you do so cheerfully. Middle age
comes on, and you see what should have been yours in other hands. You
are a stranger in the home of your ancestors--you have the cares and
vexations--ay, and the disappointments of life crowding upon you, while
another enjoys in ease and luxury your noble birthright, which has then
passed away from you for ever. How will you feel then? Will you have
the strength resolutely to bear up against this most mortifying
contrast, to banish the thought of it far from you--or will it
embitter--eventually perhaps crush the remainder of your existence?
This is what I have been thinking of while we have been sitting here.
Now have _you_ thought of it?"
He laid his hand on the other's arm with an affectionate gesture, and
his dark eyes were full of sympathy as he bent his glance upon the young
man's face, awaiting the answer.
"I have thought of it, Dr Ingelow," was the quiet reply. "I had
already done so--had weighed the pros and cons most carefully before I
spoke to you yesterday. And--"
He stopped short. He was nearly giving the rector an inkling of the
other insurmountable obstacle which stood in the way of reconciliation,
and any material advantage it might bring with it, but with a natural
distaste for discussing family matters with an outsider--however
sympathetic--he forebore. Had he not done so, it is possible that the
answer to his wishes might have been different; as it was, Dr Ingelow
would not give up the notion that the quarrel between Roland and his
father, however grave, was yet capable of being healed, and it was not
for him, a Christian priest, irrespective of other considerations, to be
the means of widening the breach.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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