DOUGH OR DYNAMITE
By W. C. TUTTLE
Author of “Clean Crazy,” “Monkeying with Ancestors,” etc.
Me and “Muley” Bowles and “Chuck” Warner are putting a saddle on a
colt in the Cross J corral, when “Telescope” Tolliver enters the
precincts of said ranch, and we gets our first glimpse of Archibald
Ames.
Archibald occupies a seat on the buckboard with Telescope, and they
soon comes over and climbs on top of the corral fence. Archibald’s
name fits him—in a way. The length of his first name indicates his
girth and his last name his height. He’s one of them persons who you’d
never invite to set down, ’cause he don’t seem to require no such
posture.
It takes him quite a long time to negotiate the top-pole of the
corral, and when he does get up there he has to balance—his feet won’t
reach the next pole. He’s wearing them dinky little pants, with the
seat of a shoplifter and the knees of Lord Fauntleroy. His calves
perspire in shiny leggings, and for a hat he wears a libel on the name
of Stetson.
Muley gives him a passing glance, yanks up another notch on the cinch,
and grunts—
“What’ll we do with it?”
“Love it to death or render it out,” grunts Chuck. “Looks to me like
one of them playthings for kids that yuh can’t tip over and make it
stay down. Let’s give this colt a chance to breathe, while we peers a
little closer at this attraction.”
We ambles over and looks up at the critter’s soles.
“Mister Ames,” orates Telescope, “I’m obliged to make yuh used to
Muley Bowles. He’s the sylph-like critter in woolly chaps. That one
with the sad, horse-faced features is Chuck Warner, the anti-George
Washington of Yaller Rock County, and the other person down there is
Henry Peck. They’re all harmless.
“Bunch, this is Mister Archibald Ames, who is to be with us for a
spell.”
“I’m pleased to meet yuh,” smiles Archie.
“You ought to be,” agrees Muley. “It ain’t often that we shows this
much interest in a stranger. What seems to bring yuh hither?”
“I brung him,” states Telescope. “Mister Ames is looking for local
color. Sabe?”
“What’s he done, and is he wanted by Federal, State or county?” asks
Chuck, serious-like, wiggling his ears.
Chuck can wiggle his ears just like a mule.
“Done what?” grunts Telescope. “Chuck, you boob, don’t yuh know what
local color is?”
“I’ll bite,” grins Chuck. “Go ahead and spring it, Telescope.”
Telescope clears his throat, rolls a cigaret and glares at Chuck, who
glares right back, and wiggles his ears.
“Look at them ears!” applauds Archibald. “I’d love to get a close-up
of them.”
“Mister,” reproves Chuck, “it ain’t seemly that a stranger should set
on top of a corral and make remarks about the physical failings of a
native son. Keep on at the pace you’ve started, and that spell that
Telescope spoke about can be spelled in four letters: g-o-n-e. Sabe?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account