“Oh, I sha’n’t have any use for the moon. I shall get over before
nightfall, if this breeze holds.”
She tried to think of something else, and to get away from this talk of
a sail to Leyden, but she fatally answered, “I saw your boat this
afternoon. I hadn’t noticed before that it was still here.”
He hesitated a moment, and then asked, “Did you happen to notice the
dory?”
“Yes, it was drawn up on the sand.”
“I suppose it’s all right—if it’s in the same place.”
“It seemed to be,” she answered faintly.
“I’m going to give the boat to Johnson.”
She did not say anything, for she could think of nothing to say, but
that she had looked for seals on the reef, but had not seen any, and
this would have been too shamelessly leading. That left the word to
him, and he asked timidly,—
“I hope my coming don’t seem intrusive, Miss Breen?”
She did not heed this, but “You are going to be gone a great while?”
she asked, in turn.
“I don’t know,” he replied, in an uncertain tone, as if troubled to
make out whether she was vexed with him or not. “I thought,” he added,
“I would go up the Nile this time. I’ve never been up the Nile, you
know.”
“No, I didn’t know that. Well,” she added to herself, “I wish you had
not come back! You had better not have come back. If you hadn’t come,
you would have got my letter. And now it can never be done! No, I can’t
go through it all again, and no one has the right to ask it. We have
missed the only chance,” she cried to herself, in such keen reproach of
him that she thought she must have spoken aloud.
“Is Mrs. Maynard all right again?” he asked.
“Yes, she is very much better,” she answered, confusedly, as if he had
heard her reproach and had ignored it.
“I hope you’re not so tired as you were.”
“No, I’m not tired now.”
“I thought you looked a little pale,” he said sympathetically, and now
she saw that he was so. It irritated her that she should be so far from
him, in all helpfulness, and she could scarcely keep down the wish that
ached in her heart.
We are never nearer doing the thing we long to do than when we have
proclaimed to ourselves that it must not and cannot be.
“Why are you so pale?” she demanded, almost angrily.
“I? I didn’t know that I was,” he answered. “I supposed I was pretty
well. I dare say I ought to be ashamed of showing it in that way. But
if you ask me, well, I will tell you; I don’t find it any easier than I
did at first.”
“You are to blame, then!” she cried. “If I were a man, I should not let
such a thing wear upon me for a moment.”
“Oh, I dare say I shall live through it,” he answered, with the
national whimsicality that comes to our aid in most emergencies.
A little pang went through her heart, but she retorted, “I wouldn’t go
to Europe to escape it, nor up the Nile. I would stay and fight it
where I was.” “Stay?” He seemed to have caught hopefully at the word.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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