“No, no,” he protested, laughing in recollection of the scene. “You
were all right, and I was in a fix; and if your own fears hadn’t come
to the rescue, I don’t know how I should have got out of it. It would
have been disgraceful, wouldn’t it, to refuse a lady’s request. You
don’t know how near I was to giving way. I can tell you, now that it’s
all over. I had never seen a lady of our profession before,” he added
hastily, “and my curiosity was up. I always had my doubts about the
thoroughness of women’s study, and I should have liked to see where
your training failed. I must say I found it very good,—I’ve told you
that. You wouldn’t fail individually: you would fail because you are a
woman.”
“I don’t believe that,” said Grace.
“Well, then, because your patients are women. It’s all one. What will
you do?”
“I shall not do anything. I shall give it all up.”
“But what shall you do then?”
“I—don’t know.”
“What are you going to be? A fashionable woman? Or are you going to
Europe, and settle down there with the other American failures? I’ve
heard about them,—in Rome and Florence and Paris. Are you going to
throw away the study you’ve put into this profession? You took it up
because you wanted to do good. Don’t you want to do good any more? Has
the human race turned out unworthy?”
She cowered at this arraignment, in which she could not separate the
mocking from the justice. “What do you advise me to do? Do you think I
could ever succeed?”
“You could never succeed alone.”
“Yes, I know that; I felt that from the first. But I have planned to
unite with a woman physician older than myself.”
“And double your deficiency. Sit down here,” he said; “I wish to talk
business.” They had entered the border of the woods encompassing
Jocelyn’s, and he painted to a stump, beside which lay the fallen tree.
She obeyed mechanically, and he remained standing near her, with one
foot lifted to the log; he leaned forward over her, and seemed to seize
a physical advantage in the posture. “From your own point of view, you
would have no right to give up your undertaking if there was a chance
of success in it. You would have no more right to give up than a woman
who had gone out as a missionary.”
“I don’t pretend to compare myself with such a woman; but I should have
no more right to give up,” she answered, helpless against the logic of
her fate, which he had somehow divined.
“Well, then, listen to me. I can give you this chance. Are you
satisfied that with my advice you could have succeeded in Mrs.
Maynard’s case?”
“Yes, I think so. But what”—
“I think so, too. Don’t rise!”
His will overcame the impulse that had betrayed itself, and she sank
back to her seat. “I offer you my advice from this time forward; I
offer you my help.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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