Human experimentation in psychology -- Fiction; Science fiction; Thought and thinking -- Fiction
It was George Bayley, a young man of good education, excellent training,
and once of great promise, but of most unfortunate recent experience.
About a year previous he had embezzled a small amount of the funds of a
corporation in Newville, of which he was paymaster, for the purpose of
raising money for a pressing emergency. Various circumstances showed that
his repentance had been poignant, even before his theft was discovered.
He had reimbursed the corporation, and there was no prosecution, because
his dishonest act had been no part of generally vicious habits, but a
single unaccountable deflection from rectitude. The evident intensity of
his remorse had excited general sympathy, and when Parker, the village
druggist, gave him employment as clerk, the act was generally applauded,
and all the village folk had endeavoured with one accord, by a friendly
and hearty manner, to make him feel that they were disposed to forget the
past, and help him to begin life over again. He had been converted at a
revival the previous winter, but was counted to have backslidden of late,
and become indifferent to religion. He looked badly. His face was
exceedingly pale, and his eyes were sunken. But these symptoms of mental
sickness were dominated by an expression of singular peace and profound
calm. He had the look of one whom, after a wasting illness, the fever has
finally left; of one who has struggled hard, but whose struggle is over.
And his voice, when he began to speak, was very soft and clear.
"If it will not be too great an inconvenience," he said; "I should like
to keep you a few minutes while I talk about myself a little. You
remember, perhaps, that I professed to be converted last winter. Since
then I am aware that I have shown a lack of interest in religious
matters, which has certainly justified you in supposing that I was either
hasty or insincere in my profession. I have made my arrangements to leave
you soon, and should be sorry to have that impression remain on the minds
of my friends. Hasty I may have been, but not insincere. Perhaps you will
excuse me if I refer to an unpleasant subject, but I can make my meaning
clearer by reviewing a little of my unfortunate history."
The suavity with which he apologized for alluding to his own ruin, as if
he had passed beyond the point of any personal feeling in the matter, had
something uncanny and creeping in its effect on the listeners, as if they
heard a dead soul speaking through living lips.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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