It was with no particular excess of pleasure that Daisy received and
perused the first-written of these epistles. To be sure, at the first
glance over the words her face flushed and her eyes brightened; but the
next few minutes her heart sank within her with that undefined sense
of impending evil of which we are all of us so frequently conscious.
The thought of Paul's immediate return had been weighing upon her for
some days; she had been uncertain how to treat him. She could not help
acknowledging to herself that her feelings towards him had undergone
a certain amount of alteration during his absence. She was unwilling
that that alteration should be noticed by him, and yet could not avoid
a lurking suspicion that she must have betrayed it in her letters. She
gathered this from the tone of his replies, more especially from his
last communication, in which he announced his speedy arrival in town.
Of course she had not breathed to him one word of her acquaintance with
Colonel Orpington; there was no occasion why she should have done so,
she argued to herself; the two men would never be brought in contact.
And yet it would be impossible for her to renew the intimacy which had
previously existed with Paul, without his becoming aware that she had
other calls upon her time, and insisted upon being made acquainted with
their nature; and then, when he found it out, the fact of her having
concealed this newly-formed friendship from him would tell very badly
against her. It would have been very much better that she should have
mentioned it, giving some sufficiently satisfactory account of its
origin, and passing over it lightly as though it were of no moment. She
could have done this in regard to the meeting with John Merton and its
subsequent results--not that she had ever said anything of that to her
lover, by-the-way--without, she was sure, exciting Paul's suspicion;
but this was a different matter. In his last letter Paul had proposed
to meet her on what would now be the next afternoon, and by that time
she must have made up her mind fully as to the course she intended to
pursue. The interview to which she was then proceeding might perhaps
have an important effect upon her resolution. And as she thought of
that interview her heart sank again, and her face became very grave
and thoughtful; so grave and thoughtful did she look as she hurried
along one of the dull streets in the neighbourhood of Russell Square,
that a man to whom she was well known, and by whom every expression of
her face was treasured, scarcely knew her, as, coming in the opposite
direction, he encountered and passed by her. She did not notice him;
but he turned, and in the next instant was by her side. She looked up;
it was John Merton.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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