"You were walking at such a pace and looking so earnest, Miss
Stafford," said he, after the first ordinary salutations, "that I
scarcely recognised you. You are going into the City. May I walk part
of the way with you? I am so glad to see you; I have been longing so
anxiously to hear from you."
This was an awkward _rencontre_. Daisy had quite sufficient mental
excitement with the interview to which she was proceeding. She had
not calculated upon this addition to it, and answered him vaguely and
unsatisfactorily.
"I have been very much occupied of late," said she. "The winter season
is now coming upon us, you see, and I have scarcely any time to myself."
"It would have taken very little time to write yes or no," said poor
John; "and if you knew the importance I attach to the receipt of one of
those two words from you, I think you would have endeavoured to let me
know my fate. Will you let me offer you my arm?"
"No--no, thanks," said Daisy, drawing back.
"You--you don't like to be seen with me, perhaps, in the street?" asked
John, with a bitter tone in his voice.
"No, not that at all; only people don't take arms nowadays, don't you
know?"
"Don't they?" said John, still bitterly. "I beg your pardon; you must
excuse my want of breeding. I don't mix except among people in my own
station. I--I didn't mean that," he added hurriedly, as he saw her face
flush; "I didn't mean anything to offend you; but I have scarcely been
myself, I think, for the last few days."
"You have done no harm," said Daisy, gently, pitying the look of misery
on his face.
"Have I done any good?" he asked; "you cannot fail to understand me. If
you knew how I suffer, you would keep me no longer in suspense."
"I did not pretend to misunderstand you," said the girl. "You are
waiting for my answer to the proposition you made to me when you called
at my lodging the other day."
"I am."
"You have placed me--unwillingly, I know--in a very painful position,"
said Daisy; "for it is really painful to me to have to say or do
anything which I feel would give you pain."
"Don't say any more," he said in a hoarse voice; "I can guess your
meaning perfectly. Don't say any more."
"But, Mr. Merton, you must hear me--you must understand----"
"I do understand that you say 'no' to what I asked you; that you reject
my suit--I believe that is the proper society phrase! I don't want to
know," continued he, with a sudden outburst of passion, "of the esteem
in which you hold me, and the recollection which you will always have
of the delicacy of my behaviour towards you. I know the rubbish with
which it is always thought necessary to gild the pill in similar cases;
but I'd rather be without it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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