Mr. Paul Derinzy was in no special hurry, he had plenty of time before
him, and he had his toilette to attend to; a business which, though
he was no set dandy, he never scamped. He was very particular about
the exact parting of his hair, the polish of his nails, and the set
of his necktie; and between each act of dressing he went back to his
writing-table, and re-read the little note lying upon, it. Once or
twice he took the little note up, and whispered "darling!" to it, and
kissed it before he put it down again. Poor Paul! he was evidently
very hard hit, and just at the time of life, too, when these wounds
fester and rankle so confoundedly. Your _ci-devant jeune homme_, your
middle-aged gallant, _viveur, coureur des dames_, takes a love-affair
as easily as his dinner: if it goes well, all right; if it comes to
grief, equally all right; the sooner it is over the better he likes it.
The great cynical philosopher of the age, whose cynicism it is now the
fashion to deny--as though he could help it, or would have been in the
least ashamed of it--in one of his ballads calls upon all his coevals
of forty to declare:
Did not the fairest of the fair
Common grow, and wearisome, ere
Ever a month had passed away?
Middle-aged man has other aims, other resources, other objects.
The "court, camp, grove, the vessel and the mart," fame, business,
ambition--all of these have claims upon his time, claims which he is
compelled to recognise in their proper season; and, worst of all,
he has recovered from the attacks of the "cruel madness of love," a
youthful disorder, seldom or never taken in middle life; the glamour
which steeped all surrounding objects in roseate hues no longer exists,
and it is impossible to get up any spurious imitations of it. Time
has taught him common sense; he has made friends of the mammon of
unrighteousness; and instead of wandering about the grounds begging
Maud to come out to him, and singing rapturous nonsense to the flowers,
he is indoors dining with the Tory squires. But the young have but one
idea in the world. They are entirely of opinion, with Mr. Coleridge's
hero, that all thoughts, "all passions, all delights that stir this
mortal frame," are "ministers of love," and "feed his sacred flame."
Perpetually to play at that sweet game of lips, to alternate between
the heights of hope and the depths of despair, to pine for a glance
and to be made happy by a word, to have no care for anything else,
to ignore the friends in whose society you have hitherto found such
delight, to shut your eyes knowingly, wilfully, and resolutely to the
sight of everything but one object, and to fall down and persistently
adore that object in the face of censure, contempt, and obloquy, is
granted to but few men over thirty years of age. Let them not be
ashamed of the weakness, rather let them congratulate themselves on its
possession: it will give a zest and flavour to their middle life which
but few enjoy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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