Drawing Rooms, Second Floor, and Attics: A Farce, in One ActMorton, John Maddison
General
Drawing Rooms, Second Floor, and Attics: A Farce, in One Act
Morton, John Maddison
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
COCKLE. (_playing his card_) Ten! (_TRIPTOLEMUS takes no notice_) I
repeat ten!
TRIPTOLE. I didn't say it wasn't.
CAPT. H. (_to TRIPTOLEMUS_) Play fifteen.
TRIPTOLE. (_playing out his four cards_) One, two, three, four. (_then
taking the pack, and going on_) Five, six, seven, eight, nine----
COCKLE. What are you at, sir?
TRIPTOLE. (_still going on_) Ten, twelve, thirteen----
COCKLE. No, no!
TRIPTOLE. (_still going on_) Fourteen, fifteen--there!
COCKLE. Take up your cards again, do! You really seem to be in such a
state of confusion----
TRIPTOLE. (_trying to assume confidence_) No, not at all! (_wiping his
face with another handful of gloves, and letting them fall on stage,
then taking a large silver snuff box out of his pocket, and
mechanically opening and shutting it_)
COCKLE. (_aside_) That's uncommonly like my snuff box! (_aloud_) Let's
begin again. (_aside_) It's the very image of my snuff box! (_begins
playing_) Ten. (_throwing down his card--TRIPTOLEMUS throws down one_)
My dear sir, when you play a card, you ought to call the game.
TRIPTOLE. I beg your pardon. (_taking up his card and throwing it down
on table again_) Cribbage!
COCKLE. Nonsense, that's twenty! (_playing another card_) Twenty-five.
TRIPTOLE. (_playing another card_) Cribbage!
COCKLE. Pshaw! that makes thirty.
TRIPTOLE. (_playing another_) Cribbage!
COCKLE. Nonsense! (_looking at his cards_) Go.
TRIPTOLE. What, sir?
COCKLE. I can't come in, and therefore I say, go.
TRIPTOLE. Very well, sir; I wish you a very good evening. (_getting up
from table_)
COCKLE. (_suddenly_) Stop a bit, sir! (_takes up the snuff box, takes
a pinch, looks at it, puts it down, then suddenly to the CAPTAIN_)
Oblige me by taking my cards for a moment.
(_gets up, the CAPTAIN takes his place, leans with his elbows on the
table, shuffling the cards and looking intently at TRIPTOLEMUS, who
again takes the red worsted comforter out of his pocket, and nervously
wipes his face with it, then lets it fall on the stage among the
gloves--during this COCKLETOP has run to the card table where BUNNY is
playing, grasps him suddenly by the arm and drags him forward_)
BUNNY. What's the matter now?
COCKLE. Hush! Who is he--who is he?--that individual there? (_pointing
to TRIPTOLEMUS_)
BUNNY. Playing at cribbage?
COCKLE. Yes; you _may_ well called it _cribbage!_ he's cribbed my
paletot, my snuff box, my comforter, my sixteen pairs of gloves!
(_pointing to gloves on the floor_)
BUNNY. (_suddenly_) _And_ my wig!
COCKLE. Hush, no noise; everything must be done quietly. (_beckons the
GUESTS mysteriously, who advance, wondering, points to TRIPTOLEMUS,
then in a low tone_) Take care of your pockets! (_astonishment among
the GUESTS_)
CAPT. H. (_who has finished shuffling the cards, slamming the pack
violently on the table_) Now, sir!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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