Country life -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Siblings -- Fiction
GROWN-UP people really ought to be more careful. Among themselves it may
seem but a small thing to give their word and take back their word. For
them there are so many compensations. Life lies at their feet, a
party-coloured india-rubber ball; they may kick it this way or kick it
that, it turns up blue, yellow, or green, but always coloured and
glistening. Thus one sees it happen almost every day, and, with a jest
and a laugh, the thing is over, and the disappointed one turns to fresh
pleasure, lying ready to his hand. But with those who are below them,
whose little globe is swayed by them, who rush to build star-pointing
alhambras on their most casual word, they really ought to be more
careful.
In this case of the circus, for instance, it was not as if we had led up
to the subject. It was they who began it entirely--prompted thereto by
the local newspaper. "What, a circus!" said they, in their irritating,
casual way: "that would be nice to take the children to. Wednesday would
be a good day. Suppose we go on Wednesday. Oh, and pleats are being worn
again, with rows of deep braid," etc.
What the others thought I know not; what they said, if they said
anything, I did not comprehend. For me the house was bursting, walls
seemed to cramp and to stifle, the roof was jumping and lifting. Escape
was the imperative thing--to escape into the open air, to shake off
bricks and mortar, and to wander in the unfrequented places of the
earth, the more properly to take in the passion and the promise of the
giddy situation.
Nature seemed prim and staid that day, and the globe gave no hint that
it was flying round a circus ring of its own. Could they really be true,
I wondered, all those bewildering things I had heard tell of circuses?
Did long-tailed ponies really walk on their hind-legs and fire off
pistols? Was it humanly possible for clowns to perform one-half of the
bewitching drolleries recorded in history? And how, oh, how dare I
venture to believe that, from off the backs of creamy Arab steeds,
ladies of more than earthly beauty discharged themselves through paper
hoops? No, it was not altogether possible, there must have been some
exaggeration. Still, I would be content with very little, I would take a
low percentage--a very small proportion of the circus myth would more
than satisfy me. But again, even supposing that history were, once in a
way, no liar, could it be that I myself was really fated to look upon
this thing in the flesh and to live through it, to survive the rapture?
No, it was altogether too much. Something was bound to happen, one of us
would develop measles, the world would blow up with a loud explosion. I
must not dare, I must not presume, to entertain the smallest hope. I
must endeavour sternly to think of something else.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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