"Then what _is_ the problem?" she asked, now thoroughly mystified.
"He's writing classics!" burst out Jean in baffled irritation. "He won't
write anything else! Easily seeing the approaching catastrophe, I wrote
long persuading essays to him. It was pathetically useless. Proudly he
continued to write his _Rise and Fall of the Western Plainsman_ in a
lucid, passionate prose which would evoke an imperishable picture--but
in three thousand pages."
"I think classics are _nice_," protested Judy, "and one of these days
I'm going to read another one."
Huskily Jean told her the worst. "Writing classics consumes paper by the
ton. And if you ever get your 750,000 word story finished, you must then
start shrinking it back to an acceptable 75,000 words. This is a nearly
hopeless task. Of course if you can get it back to 75,000 words the
digest magazines will have no trouble shrinking it to 15,000 words or
fifteen pictures, and you then get your fingers in the till." He paused
and all hope fled from his face. "Droozle won't live nearly long enough
to get all of that shrinking done. And in the meantime that scribbling
snake is writing me out of house and home!"
"Are you going to let him get away with it?" the girl challenged.
* * * * *
"I don't know whether I am or not," replied the young artist, looking
worried. "I thought I had the problem solved at first. He got so sassy
when we were arguing about him writing classics that I had no hesitation
about applying a pinch of glue to his glittering little extremity. That
put him out of the writing business until he came to terms."
"Well, now. You _were_ enterprising!" she approved.
"It didn't do any good though," Jean grumbled despondently, bowing his
head.
"He wouldn't bargain?" she asked incredulously.
"He didn't have to. He knew right where the cheese grater was."
"Ooh!"
"My sentiments exactly. But I don't know what to do with him now."
"You're all out of ideas?"
"Oh we could sell this house and move down to skid row where the rents
are cheap," he flung out airily, but quite plainly worried sick.
"I've got a much better idea than that," she said cheerily, getting a
pad and pencil from her red handbag. "How about giving Droozle this
ultimatum?" As she wrote, Jean read over her shoulder, "'Suggest you
begin writing fiction pleasing both to you and your master, or we shall
be forced to hand you over to the dog catcher!'"
Jean drew back amazed. "Why, we would do no such thing!"
"I know it, silly. I'm just negotiating."
"No," he grumped, ready to be angry with her. He got up and strode
around the studio. "The dog catcher! We will not lie to that snake!"
Judy dropped the idea. "I've just now thought of another one. Here's an
ultimatum we could give him and mean it, too. No more writing until we
reach an agreement, or we will take away all his writing paper and
reading matter for good!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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