Drugs that enslave : $b The opium, morphine, chloral and hashisch habitsKane, H. H. (Harry Hubbell)
Science
Drugs that enslave : $b The opium, morphine, chloral and hashisch habits
Kane, H. H. (Harry Hubbell)
Drug addiction
almost indefinite prolongation of time, even for a minute. The paroxysms
already alluded to were not accompanied with muscular relaxation. About a
quarter before nine o’clock I was standing at the door, anxiously watching
for the doctor, and when the spells would come on I would remain standing,
leaning slightly, perhaps, against the doorway. After awhile I saw a man
approaching, whom I took to be the doctor. The sound of his steps told me
he was walking very rapidly, and he was under a gas-lamp, not more than
one-fourth of a square distant, yet he appeared a vast distance away, and
a corresponding time approaching. This was the only occasion in which I
noticed an exaggeration of distance; in the room it was not perceptible.
My extremities now began to grow cold, and I went into the house. I do not
remember further, until I was aroused by the doctor shaking or calling
me. Then intellection seemed pretty good. I narrated what I had done and
suffered, and told the doctor my opinion was that an emetic was indicated,
both to remove any of the extract still remaining in my stomach, and also
to arouse the nervous system. I further suggested our going into the
office, as more suitable than the parlor, where we then were. There was at
this time a very marked sense of numbness in my limbs, and what the doctor
said was a hard pinch produced no pain. When I attempted to walk up-stairs
my legs seemed as though their lower halves were made of lead. After
this there were no new symptoms, only an intensifying of those already
mentioned. The periods of unconsciousness became at once longer and more
frequent, and during their absence intellection was more imperfect,
although when thoroughly aroused I thought I reasoned and judged clearly.
The oppressive feeling of impending death became more intense. It was
horrible. Each paroxysm would seem to have been the longest I had
suffered; as I came out of it a voice seemed constantly saying, ‘You are
getting worse; your paroxysms are growing longer and deeper; they will
overmaster you; you will die.’ A sense of personal antagonism between
my will power, as affected by the drug, grew very strong. I felt as
though my only chance was to struggle against these paroxysms—that I must
constantly arouse myself by an effort of will; and that effort was made
with infinite toil and pain. I felt as if some evil spirit had control of
the whole of me, except the will power, and was in determined conflict
with that, the last citadel of my being. I have never experienced anything
like the fearful sense of almost hopeless anguish and utter weariness
which was upon me. Once or twice during a paroxysm I had what might be
called nightmare sensations; I felt myself mounting upward, expanding,
dilating, dissolving into the wide confines of space, overwhelmed by a
horrible, rending, unutterable despair. Then, with tremendous effort, I
seemed to shake this off, and to start up with the shuddering thought,
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