Now it so happened that Our Hero was a Town Pillar, and although he did
not at any time lean toward the philanthrop stuff hard enough to push
it over, still he felt that he’d like to do a few Good Things for the
Community before he hopped the Styx.
In his mental unfoldment he had forged clear past the point where One
feels that One has done One’s full duty when One takes care of One’s
own wife and One’s children.
He felt that every man owed a responsibility to the Community in which
he lived, moved and had his Three Squares.
So he decided to erect a public drinking fountain with a lion spitting
fresh water from between its teeth.
He went and got some good news prints of himself, then called in the
reporters and announced his decision. The announcement was followed by
a shower of publicity in the local Press that would have cost Father
John a hundred dollars.
One newspaper that gave him only a Stick and didn’t print his picture,
was forthwith put upon the Drab List and the Standing Ad of his
Business was withdrawn for life.
When the fountain was all set up, Our Hero declined to pay the bill
until the name of the donor was carved in large letters in some
conspicuous place, according to the Conditions of Agreement. So the
Town Council met and decided to carve it on the southern view of the
lion.
The minister of the Church which comrade Hero attended heard of his
munificent gift to the Town. His Reverence got in some fast legwork
and ran down the modest philanthropist just as the aforesaid latter was
ducking into his office.
The following Sunday morning when the congregation assembled for a
quiet snooze, the Minister got up in the turret and announced the
recent donation of a beautiful stained-glass window.
In due time the window was puttied in, showing a patriarch with a
staff and a cloven hat. But when Old Sol turned on his spotlight, did
it reveal the graceful and modest inscription, “Donated by A Friend?”
It did—NOT. It revealed the full and complete name of the generous
benefactor in letters about the size of a small barn. The price he paid
for the complete job was left off, however.
Sometime afterwards the Town got the community development bug. Our
Hero stood up on a vinegar barrel at a mass meeting and told the
assembled whiskers that there was no reason on the face of God’s Green
Earth why they shouldn’t be as big as New York, and that if every man
would Put his Shoulder to the Wheel they could make Chicago look like
a way-station.
When the cheers died down, Our Hero was made Chairman of the Might and
Main Committee. He took off his Prince Al and got on the job.
For six months he worked like a Zulu wharf-boy, and through his
Untiring Efforts the town copped several new industries, and was lifted
from the 34th to the 24th city of the State in point of population and
municipal purity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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